102 years have passed since the first International Women’s Day was commemorated and we are celebrating the 103rd IWD this year. Although the rights and political and social contributions of women are more valued than before, we must realise that the work does not end here.
More than ever, women are being objectified and there is still a set of fallacies about their “natural instincts” and “social behaviour” adhered to them (common across most cultures). Most women are overworked and under-appreciated as they are responsible for contributing towards the family income AND do what they “naturally do best” – housework, being a nurturing mother and wife. Housewives are considered “non-working” members of the society although they sometimes work from day to night, ensuring that the household is in order. In some cultures and communities, violence committed towards women is still considered a common phenomenon. This stems from the fact that such cultures and communities still hold on to the fact that women should be “punished” and “suppressed”, because they are mere objects whose existence are not considered too important to society-at-large.
Gender inequality affects men too. When men choose to become house husbands, they are considered “lazy” and “useless” members of society. When men choose to pursue their occupational passion in any of the sectors dominated by women such as becoming an educator in a childcare centre, they are considered “unmanly” and many times, barred from doing certain duties because of the general assumption that men have a higher tendency to be pedophiles (a gross misconception). Also, men are expected to hold “masculine” traits, become the main breadwinners of their families and protectors of the “weaker gender”. Those who fall out of the expected set of behaviours and attitudes in life are being labeled and discriminated.
We need to recognise that nurture plays a very important role in shaping behaviours, preferences and attitudes in life among both women and men. No women was naturally born to love pink, diamonds, children or shopping. Likewise, no men was naturally born to love blue, soldiers, adventurers or become leaders in the community. All of these are results of nurture and in order to be fair to our generations to come, we need to work on exposing children to various forms of activities from sports to fine arts without pushing children towards conforming to gender stereotypes.
This is not about inciting a war between the various genders. This is about educating our future generations towards creating a progressive society that gives equal opportunities and respect towards each gender. And to do so, we have to first change our own flawed perceptions about gender roles and the messages we are sending to the young.
I think we can all do it, if we hold enough respect for all human beings in general. What are your thoughts on this?
Hearing about the death of the woman who was brutally raped and violently attacked in New Delhi was one of the saddest and most disturbing moment of 2012 as the year ended. Following the reports that described how she was being violently handled by 6 men and all the call for the death of her rapists/ murderers, I have realised that the world has not gotten anywhere more enlightened nor civilised.
Patriarchal values lead to sexism and gender inequality
Despite more equal opportunities for women in the areas of education and jobs as well as status in society, inequality between genders due to patriarchal values and sexism still reigns in many parts of the world and in many segments of society. To cut the long story short, I will keep the focus on India.
According to a report by Reuters, the men admitted to raping and torturing her in order to “teach her a lesson” after she and her male friend did not take their taunts (of being out alone at night with a man) lying down. The fact that she was alone at night with a man became a point for the group of men to pick on, was a sign of gross patriarchal values at work.
Patriarchal values exist within the police force as well… remember the case of the 17 year-old teenager who killed herself after the police pressurised her to drop the case and marry one of her attackers who had raped her? It left me very angry and disgusted. And according to an acquaintance of mine who currently works in New Delhi as a researcher, he told me that justice is almost always not being upheld when it comes to sexual crimes against women because their perpetrators are of a more superior gender. He said “The police will usually look for reasons to justify the rape. In other words, women are usually blamed for being out alone, being out too late at night, wearing clothes that show their curves or behaving suggestively.
As if the crime was not horrendous enough and as if sexism coming from men is not enough, Dr Anita Shukla, a woman scientist in India, blamed the victim for her own fate. According to Daily Bhaksar, she said that “Women instigate men to commit such crimes” and that the victim was being “insensible” for staying out after 10pm.
My goodness… that was utterly disgusting, especially coming from a woman. So while there is no restrictions for men to stay out as late as they want, women have to stay at home after a certain hour of the night to remain “sensible” and not “instigate” men to commit such crimes… how’s that for gender equality?
Now that says a lot about how deep patriarchal values have been embedded in India’s society… so much so that sexism and gender inequality can be expressed from both women and men from different segments of the society.
Blood for blood?
I disagree with the idea that the rapists who are now tried for murder, should be sentenced to death. Sentencing the brutal criminals to death is a short-cut method to “right” what has been wrong for a very long time. Rather, what is required is a social revolution that needs to happen immediately. Sentencing these men to death reeks of revenge and I believe that if a society is against murder, they should not practice the hypocrisy of supporting state sanctioned murder.
In my opinion, the death penalty will not change how women in India (or anywhere else in the world) are being treated and viewed as – weaker and inferior to men, and in some instances, sex objects that do not deserve equal respect as men. In order to change a society, the call of equal respect is required. Men needs to recognise that women and men are equally human beings. In July 2003, Marina Mahathir wrote:
“What prevents violence against women is instilling in men and boys the belief that women are equal human beings who are to be respected. Have we ever known an abuser to say that they think highly of their victims?”
The death penalty only creates fear and instilling fear is not an effective way to deal with crimes. The society has to understand why they should not violate another human being through violence and sexual crimes, rather than through fear of punishment which is temporary and which will never help to improve women’s standing in society at all.
In this very case of India, the only things that should be granted the death penalty, are patriarchy and sexism. And to be honest, patriarchy and sexism should have been given the death penalty a long time ago, all over the world.
Let us not forget our sense of humanity, just because something so inhumane has happened. Support justice and gender equality instead of the death penalty.
Note: There will be a candle-light vigil in honour of the victim happening on the evening of 2 Jan 2013. For more details, do check out the event page set up by the organiser.
My name is Vanessa and I’m part of the SlutWalk Singapore organizing team. Thank you for being here today, and thank you to those who are here for the second time. Thank you for joining us in this symbolic gathering to show solidarity with survivors and their supporters. Thank you for being here to show Singapore—and the world—that people DO care, that people ARE sick and tired of rape culture, and that people DO want to stand up against impunity and ignorance.
I would like to share a little on what has changed over the past year, and what is different with SlutWalk this year. Well, for starters, the media is no longer interested in us because they turned up last year and were sorely disappointed that they didn’t see scantily clad women. Boo them for not reading our manifesto before turning up. There is also a noticeable lack in the number of people standing behind bushes with their telephoto lenses hoping to take photos of scantily clad women without our explicit and voluntary consent.
We take heart that many new conversations were started, and that a small group of people have started to reject—or at least question—the culture that we live in. The concept of consent is no longer as foreign as before, and that we are braver when it comes to calling out practices of victim blaming and slutshaming. This runs in line with SlutWalk’s aim to introduce new vocabulary for us to be able to think and talk about sexual assault and the excuses that come with it. As we all know—we cannot solve a problem if we cannot name it.
However, in the larger scheme of things, we are definitely weary to adopt a celebratory attitude. I think it is safe to say that most people still believe in the rape myths that we are trying to debunk. We still hear arguments that women SHOULD not stay out late at night, that women SHOULD not be promiscuous-and-save-it-for-marriage, that women SHOULD not go drink and dirty dance in clubs. Cause if they do, they deserve to be raped. And this only just touches the surface of rape culture. Rape culture is not simply a “women’s issue”, it permeates through society and affects all of us—some in more ways than one.
This is why we call it rape culture. We call it rape culture because these practices of victim blaming and slut-shaming are so ingrained in us that we never sought to question them. They have gone invisible for decades because people simply thought that “that’s the way things are”, even though some of us get this nauseating feeling in our guts that something’s not quite right. It is so ingrained in us that victims of sexual assault more often than not blame themselves for what happened to them. We are here to say, it is *never* your fault—the responsibility for the crime lies on the criminal and on rape culture.
We call it rape culture because it is embedded in multiple levels in our society. For one, our sex education teaches students to—and I quote—“Recognize that there are different ways of inviting sexual intimacy, namely through dressing, speech, actions, and choice of dating venues.” In other words, our sex education system teaches that a DRESS means YES, FLIRTING means YES, going to their homes means YES. For two, the National Council for Crime Prevention ran this disgusting campaign that read “DON’T GET RUBBED THE WRONG WAY”, instead of saying “DON’T RAPE”. In addition, our media glamourizes and capitalizes on rape; our laws do not consider rape of a man’s wife as rape; our parents, teachers, friends, social workers, counselors, and many more, tell us to “be careful” without questioning why.
We call it rape culture because consent continues to be constantly undermined in this society. Section 377A of our penal code criminalises sex between two CONSENTING male ADULTS. When the 80 over men were convicted for having sex with an underaged social escort, her CONSENT was deemed irrelevant (it was not even brought up in court). When the high court overturned the rape conviction of Ong Ming Wee, the victim’s NON-CONSENT was deemed inconsequential because she could “call for help” and was not able to remember how many times she said “no”. These are but three instances although they are in no way isolated cases. What I was trying to illustrate was that society’s disrespect for someone’s consent or non-consent is a reflection of how there is this sense of ENTITLEMENT to other people’s bodies: the law is entitled to gay men’s bodies; the law is entitled to the social escort’s body; the rapist is entitled to the victim’s body.
When we talk about consent, we simply want to put across one message: NOBODY IS ENTITLED TO YOUR BODY, MIND and SOUL.
Victim blaming and slut-shaming reifies that sense of entitlement by letting the rapists walk free. Victim blaming and slut-shaming are EXCUSES made to the benefit of the rapist.
But not only that—victim blaming is a form of control. As Theodor Adorno said back in 1947, victim blaming is “one of the most sinister features of the Fascist character”. It is a way to say that I think you are doing something against what I think is right, and as a result, you deserve whatever repercussions that comes along with it. As Heather Jarvis—founder of SlutWalk Toronto puts it: “If when calling somebody a slut or any word like this, you had to, in the same breath explain what it can mean—that you aren’t worthy or deserving of equal rights and protections; you deserve to be harassed for years, have your life go off-course, and you should probably be raped and I don’t have to care because I don’t like what you did. If you had to say that, would you still say it? Would you let others say it?”
It is a form of control because it is a way to police people into behaving a certain way. And if you fall out of those arbitrary rules and regulations, you deserve to be punished. For women, our sexuality is constantly under surveillance. Our worth is measured by our “purity”, by the sanctity of that piece of membrane that came to be invested with the meaning of virginity. Our worth is measured by how we do not embrace sex and sexuality. These forms of policing become even more nuanced when we talk about lesbian women. Lesbian women are deviant because they stray from the compulsory heterosexuality in society. Let’s not forget the bisexual and pansexual women: how dare they sleep with people regardless of their gender! And again, these forms of policing get even more visible when we talk about transgender women. The violence against straight women, lesbians, bisexual and transgender women is real. It is hard enough for a straight woman to report rape without having to face victim-blaming mindsets; what more for women with different sexual orientations and gender identities? They are not even protected by the law!
Speaking of the types of rape that are not covered by the law, we are cognizant that the rape of men is not considered rape in Singapore (unless he is a minor). Neither is it something that we as a society talks about. There’s this assumption and expectation that “men are supposed to be strong” that they should be able to fight off women! But rape is never about strength. That said, in the first place, why would men want to decline sex, they think about it every [insert arbitrary number] seconds! In this society, we assume that an erection constitutes consent as much as we assume a short skirt consents for us.
Let’s not forget about gay men—if they are raped, there is absolutely no form of legal recourse and there is that additional threat of being charged under 377A. Besides, nobody cares about that because gay men are deemed indecent and immoral in this society—they were probably asking for it, or in any case, they deserve it for not being straight.
Victim blaming is not just based on your gender, gender identity and sexual orientation. 1 in 10 foreign domestic workers in Singapore have been sexually assaulted. Yet the mentality that they lie about rape runs deep. We have heard of cases where police officers believe that the worker is merely trying to get a free ticket out of their employment contract after they had a good time here. People living with disabilities are thought to not be able to consent for themselves because they are seen as “lower beings” in need of sympathy and compassion instead of empathy and solidarity. Your marital status with the perpetrator will nullify your claim of rape. Two weeks ago was World AIDS Day—yet the myth that promiscuity increases your chances of getting infected ran throughout the campaigns. In other words, your HIV status is probably your own fault.
Victim blaming is discrimination. Let’s be clear about that. It is prejudice against a group of people who behave in a way that one deems wrong. Or in the case of marital rape, it is prejudice against a group of people who are EXPECTED to do something they do not want to. It is prejudice because it justifies the violence against them.
These are forms of control, forms of discrimination, forms of ignorance and its manifestation. Rape is not just about power—as in the case of rape as a weapon of war, it is also about society’s expectations, assumptions, misconceptions, biasness and discrimination. Our tagline has always been “moving against intolerance and toward education.” We would like to propose new (duh) ways of thinking that will put an end to impunity and disrespect.
If there is one thing I would like to emphasize in this speech, it is that Hong Lim Park is not a safe space. One can only guess how many victims are not here today—either because they don’t want to or because they feel the judging eyes of society. We—all of us here—privileged with the ability to stand out here in this crowd, have a role to play. And that role is to educate ourselves on rape myths, on consent, on boundaries, on the cycle of abuse. Only through our understanding that we can make society a safe space for survivors to stand up and say hey look—that person raped me. It is when we are ready, that survivors can be ready. It is to create these various networks of safe spaces; it is to create a new norm.
Thank you to all of you who have decided to come out despite the rain. Thank you to those who do not identify with the word “slut”, who find it offensive and hurtful, but yet believe that we need to rethink these value systems behind the word.
Thank you also to our sponsors who have lessened our monetary burden. Thank you to BackatMonks, Drinkdings, Eros Coaching, Lush Events and Marketing, Home Club, CMX International, Van Lee Fitness and our friend Tania De Rozario. Thank you to AWARE, the Independent Archive and Resource Centre and to HOME for kindly allowing us to use their spaces for free to conduct workshops. Thank you.
Filed under: Bukit Brown, Events, Gender, Internal Security Act, Singapore, Singapore Anti-Death Penalty Campaign
Therefore, in this spirit, we recall and acknowledge some of the contributions of our fellow human beings in the collective struggle for the realization of our human rights in 2012.
Heritage and development
We cannot deny the audacity of a small but growing and determined network of people from different walks of life galvanising to save Bukit Brown, a precious national heritage and nature area – a fact sadly unrecognised and unappreciated by our government. Groups and individuals, not having known one another before, gathered together and spontaneously organized themselves to gather signatures, ask for dialogue with government officials, and to learn and educate themselves more about the rich history of Bukit Brown. Unfortunately the government has only given a token acknowledgement of civil society’s efforts, responding by making plans to go ahead with construction of a transport corridor with little change.
- We call on the government to recognise, respect and fulfill the social and cultural rights of all Singaporeans and to review its developmental mindset that over-values economic growth to the detriment of our society’s identity and disappearing heritage.
Amplifying the marginalized voice
The rights of streetwalkers in Singapore need to be addressed. Streetwalkers face stigma and discrimination, as our society deems sex workers the scourge of the world. This mentality somehow justifies the human rights abuses against them. As a result, the voices of sex workers remain unheard. Petitions to the state to engage on this issue have been met with unsatisfactory responses.
Victims of sexual assault are often invisible in this society. There is a fear to report cases of rape due to a society that is trapped in a paradigm of victim blaming instead of convicting the rapist. More work needs to be done in order to educate Singaporeans on the concept of affirmative consent and to dispel the myth surrounding rape. There is also a need to address the structural barriers such as in regard to the process of rape trials.
- We call for the government to recognise the need to engage in constructive dialogue and in particular, to work with civil society to embark on a rigorous sensitization programme for police officers, as well as to review the current approach on sex education in Singapore;
- We call for the redefinition of rape in the law so as to include female rapists and same-sex rape.
- We urge the government of Singapore that no reservations should be placed on any of the CRPD articles;
- Give due regard to articles 10 and 15 of the CRPD, which recognises that no persons with disabilities – including persons with mental or intellectual disabilities – should be subjected to the death penalty.
We appreciate the Singapore government’s initiative to review the mandatory death penalty. The recent changes should be seen as an ongoing process on the path towards abolishment of the death penalty in its entirety and on the need to find alternative forms of humane punishments. It is our view that the death penalty is a “cruel, inhumane, and degrading” punishment.
- We urge the government to continue the current stay on executions and establish an official moratorium to allow time and space for society to explore alternative sentencing options and to work ultimately towards the abolishment of the death penalty.
Persons of Sexual Orientation and Gender Identities (SOGI)
LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender] persons continued to face institutionalize discrimination based on their sexual orientation and gender identity. We cannot ignore the cascading effects of laws like 377A that criminalize sex between consensual men that continues to be used to justify discrimination and hate crimes. The Media Development Authority continue to classify LGBT persons together with paedophilia and other classifications to demonise LGBT persons. Neutral or positive portrayals are disallowed.
- We call on the state to remember that we too are Singaporeans and are in dire need of protection against discriminatory state laws and actions by non-state actors.
- We remind the government that all citizens are equal in front of the Constitution.
All workers – Singapore citizens, Residents and Migrant workers
Singapore citizens, residents and migrant workers contribute to economic progress but do not enjoy the full respect and protections of the internationally recognized International Labour Organization (ILO) Core Labour Standards (CLS) including their right to freedom of expression, associations and assembly, living wages, decent jobs and living conditions.
Migrant workers continue to endure poor work conditions with no bargaining power. Their treatment exposes the dark underbelly of Singapore’s success story. The frustrations of these itinerant workers have been boiling for some time and have recently bubbled over when 171 public transport workers refused to go to work for a day. Issues of sub-standard living conditions and inadequate pay that were the central focus of their work stoppage are merely symptoms of more serious issues within our state-dominated and corporatised public sector enterprises.
- We call on the government to recognize that all workers must be free to express their friendship, provide support, care and share their solidarity with one another especially for workers whose dignity is being denied, abused, and exploited;
- We urge the government to respect, promote and realize the 1998 Declaration on Fundamental Principles and Rights at Work.
Detention without trial: Internal Security Act (ISA) and Criminal Law (Temporary Provisions) Act
The use of these unjust laws over more than half a century has caused untold misery to thousands of prisoners, their families and their friends. It has deprived Singapore of good leaders who would have contributed greatly to the well-being of the country and the region. Singapore as a first world nation must respect the rule of law and no one should be deprived of his or her freedom without a just and fair trial.
- We call upon the Singapore government to repeal both the ISA and the Criminal Law (Temporary Provisions) Act which, like the ISA, permits imprisonment without trial and has been in force since 1955.
ASEAN Human Rights Declaration
Although the ASEAN Human Rights Declaration (or AHRD) has been formally adopted by the governments of the region, there are too many flaws in its formulation, wording, and intentions. The lack of transparency and consultation with regional, national, and local human rights groups is a serious challenge to the legitimacy of the AHRD.
- We are in solidarity with the ASEAN Civil Societies to continue engagement with the ASEAN governments to ensure the harmonization of the national laws in line with internationally recognized human rights standards provided in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
Statement delivered by members and friends of the Singapore Unity Project on 9 December 2012 at Speakers’ Corner, Singapore.
Note: The Post-event addition on Detention without trial: Internal Security Act (ISA) and Criminal Law (Temporary Provisions) Act.
(The following is a modified version of what I have written for one of my degree modules. I will share it on my blog in 2 parts)
“One is not born a woman, but becomes one” wrote Simone de Beauvoir in The Second Sex in 1949. It was a line that jumped out of the page and confronted me right in the face when I was 17. My world became so much more exciting thereafter and I made a promise to spend the rest of my life working on the issue of gender equality in societies whereby traditional gender roles and stereotypes are still heavily reinforced through family, education, the government, media and popular culture.
The idea of gender inequality was introduced to me at a young age. After my brother was born, all the attention shifted to him and went on for many years. The adults fussed so much about his health and well-being. They praised him for being such a friendly boy while I was the serious one with my books and paint brushes. I was more interested in exploring my environment than interacting with people. The differences in our appearances made it worse for he was obese and I was underweight. People joked that my parents must have had a preference for boys since he looked so well fed. That made me furious and I cursed my unfortunate birth.
Being 5 at that time, I did not realise that because he was born premature, everyone was worried about keeping him healthy and alive. Although I realised awhile later that gender inequality was not the reason why we were treated somewhat differently, the naïve misunderstanding together with my sense of resistance towards the traditional gender roles enforced upon me by people around me when I was growing up, made me seek for gender equality. Hence I was ecstatic when I first heard about Simone de Beauvoir. She made me feel less like an alien because I was brought up to believe that I was the only weird girl alive who was determined in my rejection of the concept of marriage as I viewed it as a woman’s social prison.
De Beauvoir wrote about how gender inequality begins from childhood in her section Lived Experience. I was intrigued but since I was past my childhood, it never occurred to me that it would be of much use to me until I became a teacher. Observing several elements around me from colleagues to toys played by the children, I began to understand that gender stereotypes exist and are being reinforced right from the beginning of a child’s life. This is why I have always tried my best to introduce gender neutral activities, stories, toys and comments in my interaction with children, sometimes much to the criticism of my contemporaries who believe that girls and boys have to be brought up differently.
Theories and research on gender development
The moment a child is born, gender stereotyping takes place at full force. From the choice of colours when buying clothes for the newborn to toys when it comes to gift selection for the baby shower, gender plays a major factor. In fact, exposure to gender stereotypical models will become a consistent part of the child’s life. Social learning theory proposes that examples provided by the existing same-sex models in the child’s environment, along with the constant reinforcement on gender appropriate behaviour plays a huge part on the acquisition of sex-typed behaviours occurring during the pre-school years (Rubel et. al., 1988).
The Cognitive-Developmental Theory formulated by Kohlberg (1966) on the other hand, suggests that children’s understanding of gender develops in stages. Kohlberg believed that children do not actively process gender information until they reach gender constancy which is the third developmental stage of theory that occurs when the child is between 5 to 7 (Sammons, 2009).
Differing slightly from Kohlberg, gender schema theory introduced by Bem in 1981 explains that children develop a basic gender schema by the time they are about 2 and is able to associate themselves as females or males. This marks the beginning of the process whereby children begin to seek out information from their environments to help them understand “maleness and femaleness” (Sammons, 2009). The more they pick up the “contents of the society’s gender schema, they learn which attributes are to be linked with their own sex and, hence with themselves” (Bem, 1981, p. 355).
In my view, we cannot underestimate the power of modelling and reinforcement because they are powerful components of conditioning, as strongly researched by key theorists of behaviourism such as Pavlov (1927) and Skinner (1963). We also cannot deny the fact that children do play an active part in their learning and development and are also able to form their own opinions on gender as they mature as suggested by Bem’s (1981) theory. However as adults who care about giving children equal opportunities to explore their world and develop to their fullest potential regardless of gender, we should bear in mind not to limit their potential by restricting them to ‘gender-appropriate’ paths.
(To be continued in Part 2…)
Source: Feminist Frequency