Dear Mr Plainclothes Police
May 13, 2013, 12:59 am
Filed under: By Rachel Zeng, Events, Singapore

SAM_1720Dear Mr Plainclothes Police,

I must confess that I was stalking you and I sincerely apologise for perhaps… frightening you with my aggressiveness. Oh wait, let me explain.

You see I have a soft spot for a cute guy like you, especially when you are employed under the police force partially funded by the tax I am obligated to pay. This is what made me stalk you throughout the event. Being so shy the way I am, I did not know how to broach the topic… I really wanted to ask you out for tea. Unfortunately you were intimidated and ran away from me. Well, at first you dodged and tried to move into the crowd but I had my stalker-eyes affixed on you. It was not entirely difficult you see… you aren’t very much taller than I am. Perhaps that was why I became so obsessed with you in the first place.

Really, this is embarrassing but yes, I was stalking you. I wished to tell you many things… I wished to thank you for your presence because it made me feel safer as a participant of the event (Singaporeans in Solidarity with Malaysians). Erm… I also wished to apologise to you that because of this event, you probably missed having dinner with your mother. It was Mother’s Day afterall, honey. 

SAM_1741

Well anyway all of that was before you put your camera in my face and took a picture of me with the powerful flashlight on. What an anti-climax. I wish you had been more polite. By the way, I hope that you’ve taken a good photo of me because I am really not a very photogenic person. 

Hmm… I hope you’ve enjoyed the event and hope to see you soon at the next event. Maybe the time round you will be friendlier and we can talk about catching up over a glass of Milo-Dinosaur?😉

Oh before I forget… do thank the whole team who was there with you too – all 15 to 20 of them – thank you for being there to maintain peace. We really appreciate your presence and hope that perhaps the next time, you can mobilise 50 more officers to keep us company and to make up the numbers. Thank you for coming in solidarity with the Malaysians. I love you, all of you, my dear plainclothes police woman (there was one) and men.

With so much gratitude and love,
Rachel the activist-police stalker


27 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Singaporean discontentment and protest over the Barisan Nasional being the victor and the right to govern Malaysia is an insult to the dignity of the country’s (Malaysia) establishment and monarch.

Comment by Jafri Basron

We were there in solidarity with the Malaysians who are not happy over the alleged election fraud. The ones who insulted the dignity of Malaysia, the people of Malaysia and the monach was the ones who were behind the mysterious “blackout”.

Comment by rachelabsinthe

Why don’t u stalk me.I’m more handsome that the one u mention.How I wish I could stalk u but then again I’ll be stalk by….hmm cannot say la.:-)

Comment by wayan

LOL! Well, you can send me a photo and I will think about it.

Comment by rachelabsinthe

Yar lor, so many ghostmen there standing and starring at you, some even with cameras, earphones etc. What a big yawn. Hello, this is speakers corner and Jolovan has applied for permit.

Comment by Ghostmen

Poor guy! If he is really a plain-cloth Police, there goes his Bonus and Promotion. You have damaged his career in the police force.

Comment by Yassin

Don’t worry, his career in the police force is tightly secured.🙂

Comment by rachelabsinthe

Don’t be sarcastic.

Comment by Don't be sarcastic

Same goes to you🙂

Chill and have a nice day. Don’t take things too seriously, it is not very good for the heart (so says my GP).

Comment by rachelabsinthe

If have no respected for these guys or police fine, at-least show some respected for the law btw what they doing is just to take vid ,If u guys done noting wrong u wont’s have any problem with them.

Comment by Teo Yi Hong

I have more respect for human beings (including the human beings behind the police force) than laws made to curb my civil liberties.

And by the way, how does this lighthearted blog post show any disrespect at all? I think you need to chill and recognise satire as satire.

Comment by rachelabsinthe

Hi Rachel,

Found your post via the online citizen, it brought a little smile to my face. Applaud your activism, makes me feel SG is really becoming a police state.
With that face in your avatar, I won’t mind being stalked by you too, haha..

May the Force be with you.
YM

Comment by Tan Yunn Ming

Thank you for your encouraging words and hehe… I look better in that photo than in real life, I must say. :p

Comment by rachelabsinthe

[…] Prata Politics: The Idiot Parade: Zainudin, Lina, 21 Malaysians, Jolovan – Rachel Zeng: Dear Mr Plainclothes Police – Anyhow Hantam: 13th Malaysian Elections: Lessons for the Singaporean […]

Pingback by Daily SG: 13 May 2013 | The Singapore Daily

Policemen with cameras are safer than those with guns and tear gas canisters? A $64 question altogether.

Comment by Ranen Bhattacharyya

[…] Dear Mr Plainclothes Police, I must confess that I was stalking you and I sincerely apologise for perhaps… frightening you with my aggressiveness. Oh wait, let me explain. You see I have a soft s.. I wished to thank you for your presence because it made me feel safer as a participant of the event (Singaporeans in Solidarity with Malaysians). Erm… I also wished to apologise to you that because of this event, you probably missed having dinner with your mother. It was Mother’s Day afterall, honey. Well anyway all of that was before you put your camera in my face and took a picture of me with the powerful flashlight on. What an anti-climax. I wish you had been more polite. Oh before I forget… do thank the whole team who was there with you too – all 15 to 20 of them – thank you for being there to maintain peace. We really appreciate your presence and hope that perhaps the next time, you can mobilise 50 more officers to keep us company and to make up the numbers. Thank you for coming in solidarity with the Malaysians. I love you, all of you, my dear plainclothes police woman (there was one)..  […]

Pingback by Dear Mr Plainclothes Police | SING A POor REmi ...

Perhaps you can organise a game at Speakers Corner called ‘Look Ma! Who I caught on camera’. Everyone gets to be ‘police’ AND ‘thief’. Objective is to snap as many portrait as possible (group photos not counted) and avoid being snapped by others. No mask allowed.

Top prize goes to the one who catches the most portrait and as a sort of challenge and consolation, special award goes to the one who was ‘caught’ most often.

Will it be fun?

Comment by ape@kinjioleaf

Careful, Rachel, with that confession they might decide to charge you with stalking that poor, frightened little man. You’re already ‘under investigation’ for being party to making my book available for sale at a private anti-death penalty function not long ago.

Comment by Alan Shadrake

No worries Alan, that case was already closed. Also, there is really nothing to be afraid of otherwise I will not be doing what I have been doing already.😉

Comment by rachelabsinthe

They doing their job, just as you doing yours. Sarcasm only made you look petty and affected.

Comment by Antipode

On the contrary, I must say. This is a message to tell them that I am not taking them too seriously.🙂

But of course, I am not particularly bothered about public perception and I am just having fun here. So chill it, but I do appreciate the feedback, thanks!

Comment by rachelabsinthe

Ahboi2men stalker, you must be highly lonely being a earlychild educationist where everyday you will see many cute guys like this ahboi2men bringing their lovely children for your educare. But why stalk and write on enforcer doing their duties.

How about one of these cute parent installing a spy camera on their children clothes (unnoticeable spy camera button) and stalking you doing your teaching and poking your nose, showing your unhappy face dealing with children crying, pooh etc etc …

Let give the enforcer some privacy of carrying out their duties

Comment by anti-stalker

I am already being harassed, stalked and monitored by the authorities.

And nay, I am not exactly very lonely here, thank you for your kind thoughts.

Comment by rachelabsinthe

Ahboi2men stalker must be feeling getting the many ahboi2men attention. Keep going, you will get some kind help & number.

Comment by anti-stalker

Actually no, but thanks for giving me your attention.

Cheers and have a happy Tuesday🙂

Comment by rachelabsinthe

Thanks Rach… your little piece made me smile🙂

Comment by Andrew

We all need a chuckle sometimes, even for activists😉 glad I made someone smile today.

Comment by rachelabsinthe




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