Singaporean women are useless because they are less ‘obedient’?
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When I was travelling on the MRT the other day, I overheard a rather disturbing conversation in Hokkien by a group of middle aged folks. Three of them were men and one of them was a woman, apparently the wife of one of the men.
The couple was confiding in their friends about their son’s lack of luck with local women and that they were wondering how to help him look for a suitable wife. One of the friends commented that they should look for one in China and that local women are useless. The other suggested that Vietnamese brides are better as they are more ‘obedient’. Upon much thought, the woman replied to the second suggesting saying that the Vietnamese bride can even help her out with housework.
Now one may wonder why such a conversation disturbs me so much to write a blog post about it. I guess it is not just about the conversation but all the talk about Singaporean women being this and that as well that has combined to make me feel rather uncomfortable.
First of all, I am fed up with the ‘feeling sorry for ourselves’ mentality that some Singaporean men harbour. When things go wrong for them, when they have no luck with local women for whatever reasons, they blame the women.
Indeed, there is a percentage of local women who are really materialistic but equally so are the men. Materialistic women and men exist all over the world and I have met them over the years. They are not predominantly Singaporean or even Asian and their partners have no issue with that at all. Why do I hear constant whining from Singaporean men about this? Do they even seek to look for those who are not? In fact, most of the women I personally know are not as materialistic as often described by the media and disgruntled men.
Secondly, the comment about Vietnamese brides being more ‘obedient’ and can help to do housework is highly degrading in my opinion. According to some of my male friends local women may seem to be more demanding, difficult to please and ‘disobedient’ just because they tend to know what they want and they speak up more often against the men when they are unhappy. Some of my male friends like that, some do not.
Now, what is wrong with women being ‘disobedient’ and vocal? Is a relationship, partnership or a marriage between a man and a woman successful or ideal if it is dominated by a man (‘head of the household’) and obeyed by a woman? From the perspective of a woman, the answer is of course, no. In fact, I do not believe that either men or women should take the domineering role in any forms of partnership because by doing so, they are belittling and disregarding the thoughts and emotions of their partners.
Honestly, I can definitely understand that the group of them are from another generation with a different mindset. However the point of this blog post is to remind those who are reading it that we are in the 21st century where both genders in Singapore are equally well educated and they play equal role in the progress of relationships, families and society. It is time for us to reflect on such a backward mindset and not let it be continually reinforced from generation to generation. Women are not the slaves of men and should not seek to be ‘obedient’ and keep their mouths shut if they have something to express.
So, to those who have no luck with local women, I beseech you to reflect upon yourselves first before putting all the blame to the opposite gender. To the men who do not have such a mindset that seeks to degrade the individuality of women, I thank you!
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rachelzeng.wordpress.com 
My blogpost on the same issue/conversation: http://seelanpalay.blogspot.com/2010/03/my-thoughts-on-singporean-men-wanting.html
Comment by Seelan Palay March 9, 2010 @ 1:43 amThe fact is Seelan Palay is just jealous because he would never able to get a fair-skin pretty Vietnamese or Chinese girl as a wife. As an artist and self-proclaimed liberal, how can he make such a sweeping statement that Singaporean women are educated, demanding and materialistic and women from ‘developing countries’ are obedient.
Being a political opposition himself, he should know jolly well that Singaporeans including the women are just a much of sheep and cows mentality after being suppressed by our dictatorial ruling party for so long. As such, Singaporean women are dumb-headed, superficial and shallow. There are in fact just psuedo westernised with Ah lian mentality. They have no real culture and originality.
Therefore most educated and open-minded men would prefer Vietnamese and Chinese women because they are more interestng, bohemian, natural and cultured. Besides, the Vietnamese and Chinese women are much prettier. Most Singaporean women have roti prata face.
And how can Seelan be so contradicting and consider Singapore as a developed country when he thinks our ruling party has never respect human rights.
Comment by heng March 9, 2010 @ 8:04 amDear Heng,
I think you have misunderstood Seelan’s points. Seelan is not jealous and he did not make any sweeping statements about both Singaporean and foreign girls from ‘developing countries’. Rather, he was commenting on the men who are blaming Singaporean girls for their vocal attitude and the way they seek girls from ‘developing countries’ with the mentality that these girls tend to be more submissive and ‘obedient’.
In our journey as activists, both of us have met individuals who do not possess the ‘sheep and cows mentality’ you were talking about. It is encouraging that more women are stepping out of that mentality to be involved in civil society work.
Having worked, lived and travelled around China before, I disagree that all Chinese women are sweeter, natural and more bohemian than local women. There is always a mix bag of personalities in every country. In China, women can get really demanding, vocal and materialistic, sometimes more so than some local girls. My personal friends in China support that sort of attitude in fact and have told me that no women should take ‘shit’ from men and some of them were even brought up thinking that men should provide for them as long as they live.
Once again I would like to stress that I am personally not saying that every man in Singapore is like that. Neither am I saying that women in Singapore are all more educated and open minded than those from foreign lands. I am just expressing a thought that is mostly about men who want ‘obedient’ wives, thinking that Singaporean women are useless because they are deemed (by these men) as not ‘obedient’ enough.
Hope this makes things clearer for you.
By the way, you mentioned that Singaporean women are “dumb-headed, superficial and shallow. There are in fact just psuedo westernised with Ah lian mentality. They have no real culture and originality.” and I have to disagree with you. I dare you to say this to the face of all your female friends, cousins and siblings if you have any. Will you do that with serious conviction, including them in that sweeping statement you just made?
Comment by rachelabsinthe March 10, 2010 @ 12:45 amYou make a good point. I will like to add that Singapore society is far too fragmented to generalize in one sweeping statement on the nature of girls. I personally have met all sorts of different types. No doubt I’ve not had much luck wooing girls myself. My only resentment is that girls sometimes place the blame on all man when they meet a rotten one.
At the end of it. You brought it upon yourself. It’s just dating psychology. Then again I wouldn’t want to date a girl who know what she’s walking into just because she thinks she feels “chemistry”. Which is utter bullshit. How you get along with others is as much your openness towards people generally as is compatibility.
Comment by yiyeung March 10, 2010 @ 3:00 amIt certianly seems that Heng must have met many of such local ladies. Or he is simply not going around enough to find women with class and who are independent, self-sufficient and contented.
May I suggest you expand your social circle and keep your mind open about women in general. Perhaps you’ll be less angsty about it.
I personally know many of such ladies and truly, the men don’t even want to understand them sometimes. They get threatened by their intelligence and independence so they look for obedient, submissive, ah lian type of girls.
And when they get sick of these girls they proclaim- Singaporean girls are boring, one-type, and materialistic.
If they want to be MCP yet not provide for their ladies, then perhaps they shouldn’t demand their women to be submissive. I mean, it’s just the way of the world ain’t it?
Comment by Barffie March 10, 2010 @ 10:53 am[…] Discourse – Rachel Zeng: Singaporean women are useless because they are less ‘obedient’? – Seelan Palay’s Blog: My thoughts on Singaporean men wanting brides from China & […]
Pingback by The Singapore Daily » Blog Archive » Daily SG: 9 Mar 2010 March 9, 2010 @ 11:50 amI completely agree… The constant whingings and insults slapped onto Singaporean women just because we do not fall onto their laps/into their arms automatically (with minimal effort from them) are sickening.
Comment by Jezebella March 9, 2010 @ 12:02 pmSingapore woemn are not useless by and large it is difficult to get a pretty women in SIngapore because by and large if they are pretty they are arrogant demanding and cry baby. It is also unfair. When they foun d a handsome man they also expect him to be rich and high positioned with good paper qualifications. Since the sample sz is limited in Spore, what is wrong with getting a pretty face elsewhere if I have money but not too much of a look but I am sincere in wanting wife who I will protect and love ferociously becoz I got what I wanted in the first place. O
Comment by helium March 9, 2010 @ 12:35 pmDear Helium,
Nothing wrong with seeking love elsewhere if it is real love that you get in the end. Honestly, there are many Singaporean women who are not as demanding, arrogant and ‘cry baby’ as you have mentioned above. Well, beauty is subjective and if you really think that all you need is a pretty face, by all means, go get a pretty face. I have met really hot women from all over the place, Singaporean included.
Good luck in looking for someone who will let you ‘protect and love ferociously’ and who will protect and love you the same way too. They may come from anywhere, local or abroad, but in general, it is my believe that money won’t buy one everything. If the contrary is what you believe, it is really fine with me. I am just expressing an opinion here and not condemning anyone.
Comment by rachelabsinthe March 10, 2010 @ 12:53 amI will settle for any girl with any qualifications as lon she can carry herself well to the la I believe any girl below the age of 35 in Singapore is generally well educated even sec 4 english nowadays in schools is superhigh standard. Face defects I can forgive but to appear before me with a 9okg frame on a 1.5, is too much to bear. I took the trouoble to decrease my weight from 90 kg to 60 kg in 6mths to be in top form, why cant they do the same. Share u a secret, guys love being with a beautiful woman, eventhough nothing transpires after that. Do u feel the same way with being a handsome man? and he then walks away halfway through the meal?
Comment by helium March 11, 2010 @ 3:47 pmOn the one hand, singaporean women, or more accurately, chinese women, are quite domineering.
For instance, have you noticed, what I term, ‘the Goondu Phenomenon’, that throws out the ‘matching hypothesis’? I’m referring to the tendency amongst the chinese women of today to stand out more than men, and pick men who don’t stand out for relationships. If you stand out, they wouldn’t give you a second look(the inverse was true in the 70s and 80s). It seems that the chinese women of today are a confucian extension of the government and serve as the ‘party whip’ by keeping men towing the ‘pragmatic’ line for the sake of the family, and which panders to the government’s unstated aim of having the Confucianised family unit serve as the masses’ political tether.
(ref. Reverse Sexploitation, from purse-strings to g-strings
The Goondu Phenomenon, Intermarriages, & the sad state of Romance in Singapore)
This is a stark contrast to my experience in the 70s and the 80s when chinese women, and all women for that matter, sought to match their partners – especially amongst the English-speaking and non-Confucianised sector of singapore.
I, like yourself, do blame men for this. Having advertised their impotence in the political milieu, the woman, who have been previously focused on familial matters, emerged as the only one’s whom were relevant in the social power structure. And with the increasing rights of women, in addition to their entering the working force and becoming quite the force to be reckoned with, men were left rather all-round impotent.
One must also take into account the dominant role of many chinese women in the family unit of yesteryear. Men socialised within such conditions tend to take on a rather ‘feminine’ role in the face of women thereafter – i.e, i’ve often noticed that chinese men are quite wary of chinese women and tend to give in – and which i’ve exploited to my advantage by getting chinese women to get things done by chinese men or get better deals in shops, etc.
Chinese women, having seen their mothers playing quite the dominant role in the family tend to take on their personas by gender-association. In my personal experience, or as you could even witness in the chinese media, and social interactions, chinese women do tend to control chinese men. However, rather than blame women, i would blame the men for being weak and easily led. For myself, i’ve never allowed women to ‘control’ me – my personal relationships include chinese, malay, indian and filipina. Only reason controls and nothing else and everything is decided on the basis of discussion. My chinese friends, however, tend to be easily led by their wives. I’m not surprised as they are not very amenable to reason themselves in discussions as opposed to chinese women whom are either open to it, or just arrogantly reject all reason upon their failing to qualify their argument with reason. (this was not the case in the 70s or 80s when Chinese women tended to be more reflective in the face of reason)
In general, confucianised societies tend to produce people whom are cognizant of the superficial – one of the reasons why apathy, bigotry, opportunism, etc, hallmark such societies. Women emerge superior because their sense of reason is given practice by their prior focus on the family unit. Men, however, become less as they lose out in the political arena. When you compare the two, whilst men might be a force in the economic arena, women are a force in both the familial and, increasingly, in the economic arena as well. This batters the men’s sense of self-efficacy as they can’t view themselves as more capable than women in anything. Hence, many just naturally bend to the will of their wives, the government, the employers, etc, whilst women still hold their ground in the aforementioned arenas. You could even say that the opposition takes on the dominant feminine persona whilst their followers are similar to men in relationships. If you study confucian societies closely, you will find that this sort of power structure is mirrored in all levels of society.
a2ed
Comment by a2ed March 9, 2010 @ 1:06 pmFirstly, I blame the Singapore female attitude that Singaporean men are whiny. No where in the article did I read that you overheard those comments from whiny Singaporean men. The conversation was between 3 middle aged folks.
Was it the son who was whining about Singaporean women?
Personally, I have no issues with vocal women. In fact, I like them, they have more character. In fact, my wife is quite a feminist.
What I’m trying to say here is: don’t stereotype. You don’t want Singaporean men to stereotype Singaporean women, similarly, don’t stereotype Singaporean men.
Comment by AG March 9, 2010 @ 6:51 pmDear AG,
I have not made it clear enough in my blog post but it was the conversation that reminded me of what I have read before in the local media some years back as well as what my personal male friends have said in discussions relating to the same issue.
No doubt it wasn’t the son whining about Singaporean women but the middle aged men doing so. They are still men, right? I have also read about local men who seek to find love in Vietnamese bride agencies because of a few failed relationships with local women. Alot of them claimed that Vietnamese brides are ‘good girls’ as compared to Singaporean women.
I do know and have ended my blog post acknowledging the fact that there are men out there who do not only seek to look for ‘obedient’ women and I am not stereotyping all Singaporean men. This blog post was written to express my irritation with what I have overheard as well as men who are blaming the local women for their own lack of luck. Apologies if I have not made it clear enough, I tend to type in a rather ‘free spirited’ manner as if I was in a conversation. But anyway, good to know that you appreciate your wife for her personality. I mean it honestly. 🙂
Comment by rachelabsinthe March 10, 2010 @ 1:01 amI guess actually, the (Singaporean) men are the ones who are the ‘controlling’ and ‘jealous’ type. Want their wives to stay at home while they can do anything they like. Like those taliban style… of cause they prefer those bo pien women.
These kind of men, modern and yet outdated. If they are open minded, I’m sure they are confident men. I think it also depends on their upbringing (the men). Most of them must be selfish type! No wonder?
Comment by AnnA March 10, 2010 @ 6:04 amDear Anna Love, Hope to meet u soon. Its good that hubbies stay out of the house because when they see a enough of those alluring, nonsensical or commando-type women outside, they have to a place to return to for sexual, feminine and loving tranquilizers. Dear wife, Drug me with ur love and tenderly words. Save me from those power-hungry feline mouths.
Comment by helium March 11, 2010 @ 3:55 pmWow, I have questions for you.
So a wife is only good by being ‘sexual, feminine and loving tranquilizers’?
So all a man wants are ‘love and tenderly words’?
Interesting indeed but I can assure you that even some of my most MCP friends will find that degrading to both men and women. Maybe you would like to elaborate yourself, just in case we misunderstand your point.
Comment by rachelabsinthe March 12, 2010 @ 1:05 amFood for thought,
It’s a simple power struggle, the fall of the Bourgeoisie.
We’ve never been closer to gender equality than ever before. (in Singapore, at least)
Not to put women down, but men, traditionally wielding power in a patriachic world have true cause for worry.
The need to stamp authority over the fairer sex, as ingrained by years of gender role assignment, is merely crying out to be exercised.
In my honest opinion anyway.
Comment by Wanhin March 10, 2010 @ 4:10 pmSome thoughts I like to share on this.
I’m a Singaporean male and I’m 32 years old. I’m what most women pigeon-hole as tall, dark and handsome. The sharp-nosed and confident type.
But I’ve have not find myself being attracted to Singaporeans ladies in particular.
I have dated them but my experience is that Singaporean women are rather insecure. They often make an effort to dress sexy. But I do not like sexy types. I prefer charming ladies. But most Singaporean women have gotten it wrong. Men want charming ladies who exude strong gracious feminity and Singaporean women still do not have a clue what we, men lokk for in a wife.
I think many Singaporean women have a misconception from the media that men love women to be showing off as much skin, etc.
Really, if we, men need a prostitute, we know where to look for. But women still don’t have a clue of what it means to be a wife and how to actually treat a man.
So at 32 years of age and having been with non-Singaporean ladies, I stopped Singaporen women as I find they are busy keeping up with the Joneses than know what the purpose of life is about. And it has nothing to do with religion.
Comment by Lionel Lee March 11, 2010 @ 10:44 amThanks for sharing your thoughts, Lionel. 🙂
Here are my thoughts on some of the points that you have made.
Superficial perfection or imperfection is subjective and sometimes never lasts. One can be handsome or pretty but who knows what will happen to looks? A fire, a car accident or an illness can change even the prettiest faces overnight.
I personally can’t find myself agreeing to women who dresses in a certain way to ‘please’ their men. Neither do I agree with the idea that men loves seeing lots of skin.
You prefer charming ladies, but that in itself is also rather subjective. How does one define charming? And not all women who dresses in a sexy manner look or behave like prostitutes. It is also sometimes a matter of taste and preferences.
Well, perhaps you can share with us how a women should treat their men. My partner has no problem with how I am treating him and we stand as equals. Each and everyone of us have different expectations on how we want to be treated by our partners.
You mentioned that Singaporean women do not know what the meaning of life is. That is quite a discriminative blanket statement in my opinion. So tell me, what is the meaning of life to you? The meaning of life in my opinion, is to live life to the fullest and fill it with adventures, continuous learning about everything under the sun, voicing out in my own ways and play a part in society (whether locally or internationally) to bring some good change to the world we live in… and more. But I understand that there are alot of people from both genders who do not view it the same way as I do and it is ok because there is no perfect manual to living life.
I am totally ok with people who has a preference for foreign men and women as long as there exist a genuine intention of being in a sincere and loving relationship. However if one seeks a foreigner just for money or an ‘obedient’ partner, well I am sorry, I personally find that kind of worse than prostitution (for the women) and worse than buying a slave (for the men).
Comment by rachelabsinthe March 12, 2010 @ 1:35 amWow.. You are saying that obedient wives are worse than prostitutes? That is abit harsh, no?
Comment by Oliver May 17, 2014 @ 11:57 amDear Lionel
I know exactly what you are talking about. The fact that even the young, educated and pretty Hazel need to ask you about the description of “charm” speaks volumes by itself.
What I hate most is the conscending sterotype of Sg men in internatinal marriages “whose wives MUST be from a 3rd world country”, nevermind the fact that charm, grace and refinement can only come from a society that allows it.
These characteristics that you look for, Lionel, are readily available over in DEVELOPED countries across Asia.
Let Hazel continue to fathom on the meaning of charm, as her excuses and statements betrays her insecure guise under the so-call Womens Lib. Expand your horizons, Lionel, and may you find the right lady in life.
Comment by Tokyo Subway March 16, 2010 @ 11:29 amHi Tokyo Subway,
First of all, not everyone find the same things/ personalities charming. It is a subjective matter and by asking Lionel what his definition of ‘charming’ was, I was just trying to understand from what perspective he was coming from. It has nothing to do with me and my so called insecurity as you have suggested. Personally, being suggested as having an ‘insecure guise’ is news to me. Reading what I had written, my replies to the comments and reflecting upon the way I carry myself, the way I think, I still don’t see the way you do.
For the longest time now, I have always believed in gender equality. There is nothing wrong in expressing and sharing my opinions here with whoever is interested enough to read, share and discuss their opinions with me. The process of discussion helps me understand the different opinions shared. If you view my questions to Lionel negatively, then I accept that you have the right to.
Please also understand that I am not stereotyping or criticising all Singaporean men with foreign wives. I am just commenting on the fact that SOME single men who have been unlucky with local women, chooses to give the excuses that local women are less obedient and they actually mean it negatively.
And lastly, my name is not Hazel.
Comment by rachelabsinthe March 16, 2010 @ 6:52 pmHi Helium,
“Share u a secret, guys love being with a beautiful woman, eventhough nothing transpires after that. Do u feel the same way with being a handsome man? and he then walks away halfway through the meal?”
Honestly, I don’t feel the same way with being a handsome man just because they are handsome. I don’t enjoy hanging out with shallow people, I prefer people who can hold good conversations about the things that matter (once again, this is subjective) and people who I can actually participate in enjoyable activities with (such as travelling, photography, going hiking etc etc). Such is my preference but I am aware that there exist a group of ladies who will die to have a dinner date with a good looking man even though he may turn out to be an airhead or an arsehole. However eventually it will become meaningless for them over time if things become bland. Like I have mentioned in a response to Lionel, looks don’t last forever.
No I am not saying that I hold a higher ‘moral ground’ or even a better preference than you. Neither am I saying that I am right and you are wrong. I accept that some people values beautiful looking people more than anything else, but valuing that alone is shallow and meaningless to me and I have personally not compromised quality company for a boring one who is just lovely looking. 🙂
Comment by rachelabsinthe March 12, 2010 @ 1:50 am[…] – TOC: The language divide – Sgpolitics.net: Law enforcement nightmare at Geylang – Rachel Zeng: Singaporean women are useless because they are less ‘obedient’? – Seelan Palay’s Blog: My thoughts on Singaporean men wanting brides from China & Vietnam […]
Pingback by The Singapore Daily » Blog Archive » Weekly Roundup: Week 11 March 13, 2010 @ 10:26 amDear Hazel, erm…I mean Rachel.
Reading your blog gives me a lot of entertainment. It enforces my believe that I made the right choice on choosing a partner from a distant land instead of one from Sg. Looking at the feedbacks, you can see that many, like me, as made that choice too.
You asked for Lionel’s defination of charm. Lionel’s non-reply is, in fact, the answer itself. You see, when people talk about being “kind”, or wanting to have a “kind” partner, the general perception of that vocabulary alread exist. It is only one who DO NOT HAVE any idea would try to “lock horns with the bull” and ask for another person’s defination of a word that can be found in the Dic.
There is no need to look up and ask each person’s defination of *kind”. Likewise, asking for Lionel’s defination of “charm” doesn’t hide the fact that he can’t find any Sg women that has it…..yet.
Your posts are filled with one sided sterotyping, such as, I am fed up with the ‘feeling sorry for ourselves’ mentality that some Singaporean men harbour., and with counter arguements base on YOUR surrounding, such as I disagree with you because my female friends are not materialistic
Although such Heads-I-win-Tail-you-loose kind of excuses has given me good entertainment read, I must confess that it convinces nobody.
Comment by Tokyo Subway March 17, 2010 @ 5:23 pmHi Tokyo Subway,
Lionel is not expected to reply overnight or even make a reply. I asked for personal definition, not literal definition because all of us see things differently. Using his personal definition of certain terms, I can then understand more about his perspective. I prefer to do that than to assume. I have expressed an intention to carry on the discussion, he has the free choice to carry on or otherwise. Not everyone is mentally and literally free to hold discussions online every single day so to me, that is fine.
All of us have our choices and I think it is OK to choose someone from abroad. THE ONLY PROBLEM I have with SOME men (and women) who do so is that they first blame the local women (and men) before saying things like ‘Aiyah, foreigners better lah, more obedient’ (or ‘open minded’ in the case of the women).
I have no excuses and if you disagree with whatever I am saying, that is fine with me. I think I have explained enough, that I am not ‘targetting’ at all Singaporean men, just SOME of them.
Comment by rachelabsinthe March 17, 2010 @ 11:30 pmDear Rachel,
You asked Why do I hear constant whining from Singaporean men about this (that Sg women are materialistic)?
Well, it is because we Sg men have lower financial expectations for a women, than vice versa.
Yes Sg men are materialistic. But their materialisim lies on his own spending power. We don’t cast the same expectation to our ladies. But sad to say, the pressure of 5Cs are enforced by Sg women onto us. This is not a sweeping statement but an accepted FACT that women more or less want guys to be financially better off.
The pressure is no us, not you. Hence we complain more.
Comment by Tokyo Subway March 17, 2010 @ 5:25 pmHi again Tokyo Subway,
“Well, it is because we Sg men have lower financial expectations for a women, than vice versa.”
I personally know women who, after getting married and sometimes even before, are bearing most of the expenses of the family. They are in their 50s, 40s, early 30s and late 20s. I have also met women who expects their men to pay for every single thing.
On the other hand, most in our society frowns on home husbands and indeed, some men and women still live in the mentality that men should provide for the household which I don’t agree. Women should start learning how to play an equal part and men should instead of slamming all women as ‘materialistic’, remind them of their equal role in all aspects of a relationship and give and take equally. Most men I have met, and I am not saying all, disagree with their female friends and sisters paying for their partners willingly. Some of them helped to reinforce that particular ‘financial expectation’ upon their own gender. Some of them have also been observed to pay for the sake of upholding a particular ego. (NOTE: I am not saying all of them)
Society needs to change and it won’t be overnight. Women blaming men and men blaming women won’t help a single bit and taking criticisms coming from the opposite gender negatively without finding out more about their perspectives by asking questions, seeking clarifications and sharing objective criticisms on their part won’t help as well.
I have personally never expect a man to pay for me because my mother is not like this. She works in a factory, earning a regular salary while my dad is a carpenter whose salary depends largely on whether he gets any contract at all. Sometimes, he doesn’t bring in anything but my mum has been the financial fortress behind the whole family without fail and she did it out of love for my dad and her children. To me, the most important aspect in a relationship is love, not money, status, having a subservient partner or even an eye candy. That is my expectation and I am just sharing, not imposing it on you or anyone else. If men do not like women who expects them to pay for most or all of the expenses, stay clear of them by all means but don’t slam the women in Singapore by putting all of them in the same category. There are actually many women out there who are not like that.
That is all I have to say, for now.
Comment by rachelabsinthe March 17, 2010 @ 11:56 pmHi, I’m 27 this year & am good looking chap. Personally I do not want to waste my time dating anymore Sg girls.. While most of my local ex girlfriends I’ve date expect me to be their superman with the 5C.. I don’t see any long term benefits for me.
From my experience, they usually can’t cook, stuck up,looks down on people who they perceived as not up to their caliber, materialistic, likes to argue,no second chance, not passionate, double standered attitude towards local guys compared to white men & are flirt. (The faithful ones are usually ugly & fat) Chronic serial daters is the word.
I’m now dating a nice Vietnamese girl. It feels really refreshing to have a girlfriend treating me as her MAN with respect.
Comment by Johnny March 26, 2010 @ 10:34 amWow seriously, seems like you have had really nasty experience.
Well some of my guy friends have met the same type of girls but they eventually found happiness here anyway. At least you are dating a Vietnamese girl, not buying her directly from a shop. Good luck with your relationship!
Anyway I am so glad that my female friends are not like what you have described. And I am also glad that not all my male friends bump into materialistic types. Thank goodness.
Comment by rachelabsinthe March 27, 2010 @ 1:05 amLOL at the sarcasm, Rachel! 😉
This man Johnny here is the disgrace of Singaporean men. What makes a man so special that he has to enslave a woman to treat him like a ‘MAN’? Aren’t we all human beings?
Honestly I find it hard to believe that such a man can actually exist at all. Ha.
Keep it up Rachel. I am a SINGAPOREAN MAN and I agree with your blog post.
Comment by Winston March 27, 2010 @ 12:45 pmHi Johnny, U so lucky to be goodlooking and not having to try a dating agancy like me. I piad almost 3K to join a dating agency. After taking my money, they met me up with a 80 girl on a 1.5 m frame. Just because I am not as gl as Johnny, they have the heart to send me such a partner. Further, she;s talkative. dominating, and boastful. I complained to the agency for such a diappointing date, so they ignored me for a longtime. Before they got my money they called me everyday. After getting the money, I am the one calling them. I think this business model is to work on people desperation for a partner. I will neverjoin a dating agency again, I rather pay for a social escort or buy a Vietname girl. I like to warn u esp the guysif u r not pretty and hope to find a pretty one u will be sorely disappointed with any dating agency. After they get ur moner, they say bye bye to u. Its unlikely u will find a match that u like. The point is if u cannot find a girl on your own, it is unlikely thst u will girl thru an agency. Vietnam here I come. Social escorts, wait for my patronage soon!
Comment by Hellibent March 27, 2010 @ 8:46 pmHi Johnny,
I don’t know why you have such a hard luck with all Sg girls expecting you to have 5Cs.
Most of my Sg female friends do not expect that. In fact they are prepared to go through thick and thin together with the man they love.
Perhaps you are looking for Sg women at the wrong place. Go try different places and you will see different type of Sg women.
Comment by Kwek Siow Huat May 19, 2010 @ 3:58 pmhei, bro, if you don’t fit into dating Singapore women that’s ok. i know that you want your girls STAND BY YOU for whatever happen in your life. I understand the word of yours ” RESPECT.” Most SG women I date with, don’t have it at all. They are not very comforting creatures to share or talk to. however, from 10 sg girls that i date, only 1 of them, I can call it spouse.
I think Singapore women are not good at using word or communicating with man. They don’t know how to capture man’s heart.
just my opinion.
Comment by alex March 24, 2013 @ 9:26 pmIsn’t a relationship about mutual respect?
Treat you as her MAN with respect? Dude, you living in a cave or in the stone age?
You may be right about describing Singapore girls that way. But with backward-thinking men like yourself I don’t think nice Singapore girls should be with you anyway!
So thank you for sparing a nice Singapore girl 🙂
Comment by P March 27, 2010 @ 1:05 amDear P,
Thats because u r not on the receiving end of these gals. Correct me if I am wrong u r not handsome, and u dun have a pretty girlfriend. U r handsome, then of course some girls will crowd around u. Of course, if they think u got looks and money, they will stick wif u like flies. The age of good Singapore girls are over. They are stuckeup conceited and ugly. Now back to the dating agency business, do u think they work on peoples desperation? Thst they are the best way to find real women. Any body wants to follow me to backpack around gthe region to find a decent village girl?
Comment by Hellibent March 29, 2010 @ 1:41 pmwell well….my dear frenz….let me throw a qn at all of u…get a good lookin wife or watever…10yrs down the road…or even after child birth…how many of u think that they will go back to the good looking figure they once have…they arent celebrities that have slimming centre come runnin after…n my qn is will u still want thm….by ur shallow comments….haiz….the ans is NO….a big NO….so ppl get a life…well i almost forgot u guys are the type that cant get a gal in singapore…btw u need not be good lookin….to get a gal in singapore well im not good lookin…not a tall n handsome chap…not a rich man son…but well i can get a local gal…no need dating ‘maid’ agency for help…hmmm i wonder y…anw nowadays u want to chose ur gal….rmb tis…gals also have the rights to chose…so yup….go to some ulu ulu part of the world n stay there….period….
Comment by DKR March 31, 2010 @ 12:01 am-DKR-
lol… Backward-thinking?! Do you consider Japan a backward country? Men is the head of the family. It’s been written in the Holy Bible, the Holy Quran & even the Sacred book of Buddhism(Tipitaka), And btw, have a sense of self identity, not everything from the west is considered “modern & good”..
Comment by Johhny May 3, 2010 @ 2:10 pmWow your answer is amazingly like an MCP.
I am an asian man who SHARES my duties, responsabilities and family decisions with my wife. We are both free to decide on our own personal things and we are very open to talking things out. I do not expect my wife to obey me, I do not expect my wife to see me as the head of the family. WE SHARE and this is called mutual respect. I do not like anyone to control me so I do not control anyone. I love my wife and consider her feelings before I do or say anything. She does the same for me, I can see.
This has gone on for the past 17 years. We are still alot in love and happy in our marriage.
What is so Western about that? I have never been rich enough to go overseas, never rich enough to go to anywhere in the west and I watch local tv, read local websites. The only western thing I have is English but even then my english not so good too. What you just utter there is pure rubbish that the PAP government tries to brainwash citizens into thinking everytime. East and west, what the hell is that? My Malay buddy is very pious ever since we were in Secondary school.He is not western, he wears traditional clothes all the time, nothing western about him. He does not control his wife and she does not control him. They are happy together because they respect and love each other.
A woman is not a man’s slave. If you love a woman, consider her feelings and don’t control her. Same thing for the man. We are human, should treat and be treated like human. Marriage is about love and respect for one another, not about the man as head of the household. That is not just a backward concept but ancient.
If my son never email me this terrible comment, I would not have seen what other rubbish some other men have written here. This is terrible. Men and women have to be respected and to ask one to obey another is not called respect. It is called making the other a servant or a slave.
Comment by ASIAN MAN May 3, 2010 @ 2:44 pmwow wow wow….clap clap…that is a lot of research….i was wondering where in the world you have been to…well i guess u have been hitting the books to counter me…so every body give our dear johnny a big hand….i agree not everything from the west is good…but it is MCP like you….who tarnish the name of local guys…like i say….i blessed to be bless by god to have so many wonderful ladies around who can cook…who can do house work…yet i say the responsibilities with them….gone are the days that guys work n ladies stays at home…correct me if im wrong…even if im working my wife is not…i still will do house work and cook for her…coz i adore her…love is not build on i say u do…well that is not love…get your mind set right…anyway do you have any female friends in singapore….? i doubt…if you have show them your comments…n mine…let them be the judge…anyway im not expecting a reply from you anytime soon…coz i think you are going to take a bus ride to some ulu ulu corner of the world to do research before commenting again…so ah boy get a life….by yours truly….DKR…
Comment by DKR May 3, 2010 @ 6:08 pmOYA….i forgot….i fully agree with ASIAN MAN….man u rock…clap clap…it IS MUTUAL RESPECT ah boy….MUTUAL RESPECT…peace out..
Comment by DKR May 3, 2010 @ 7:01 pm-DKR-
wow…a viet gal treat u like a man….hmm…so whn ur viet gal not ard….means u r a gal…? or maybe wussy….well and…not all sg gals r stuck up Mr. good looking Johnny….it is just tt u have not meet a good gal yet…well im blessed to have met some of them….so wat they cant cook can u…? and not all of them are materialistic by making that statment means u r telling me tt ur sister, ur mum, n mayb ur grandmum is materialistic…?so dun be a stereo type mcp…go and remove the coloured glasses on ur eyes…it is man like u that tarnished the name of all sg man…..
Comment by DKR March 27, 2010 @ 4:05 pmYou asked me if I can cook? Yes I can for your info! Wussy? In times of war, you probably be counting on men like me to save your sorry a@s! I’m an only child & I’m referring to local women of the 80’s generation & onwards.. Not our mothers of course unless manly women like Ho Ching is for you? lol…
Maybe you like to suck up to women & be henpecked like the rest of SG men, but count me out please. Tarnish the reputation of SG Men? You meant Wussys like this?
Or that pussy ex husband of Quan Yi feng that got bullied by her time & again?! Let me get this straight, if a women ever tried the above on me. I would have bashed her face in even if it meant going to jail!
Comment by Johhny May 3, 2010 @ 2:32 pmWOW…shocker..you can cook…MAGGIE MEE…? and Ah boy im ard your age and in fact im younger…n yes…i do no need you to protect my sorry ass…i know how to handle…let see…SAR 21…hmm….M16….hmmm…AR15…hmmmm…5…hmm…well who needs you…u think too highly of yourself ah boy…no wonder you cant get a gf in singapore…so ppl lets have a min of silence for our dear johnny…*silence* x 1 min….ok….i dun suck up to women for your info in fact….i adore my ladies…and i treat them with RESPECT…and for your info…QUAN YI FENG is NOT LOCAL….she is born in TAIWAN…arent we talking abt local girls well why did a taiwanese come into the picture…? so i guess…go do ur research probadly…hee…anyway Ah boy let me enlighten you a good relationship is build on trust and mutual understand…this is the basic of a good relationship…if u do not even have this…well haiz…and yes…the lady in the clip is not respecting her guy…or wat so ever…are you there….? who do you to judge…maybe the guy is in the wrong…? how would u know…? but i do agree it is harsh for the lady to treat her man like that but do you know what really happen..? why is the lady so mad…? well i guess…maybe you are the guy…wow…and having the statement….’Maybe you like to suck up to women & be henpecked like the rest of SG men’ so you are now saying….your father is henpecked…ur grandfather is henpecked…ur best friends is henpecked…ur brother is henpecked….opps….sorry i forgot you the only child spoilt BRAT…at home….PEACE OUT….
Comment by DKR May 3, 2010 @ 6:34 pm*understanding…typo error…anyway…it is fun to comment on Johnny comment…so ah boy ah…quickly go to ur ulu ulu corner and research ok…dont keep me waiting…HAHAHAHAHA….
Comment by DKR May 3, 2010 @ 9:06 pmHmmm….actually i spend a bit of time reading thru most of the comments….i realised….a lot of guys have been talking about ladies being materialistic…well arent guys too..? i believe…if u want to drive a car…would you go for Proton when you can afford let see a Subaru..? going for a 3-room flat when you can own a bungalow…? Hang Tan when you can buy let see AX….some cheapo shades to lets see oakley…? 7-11 Hp or Iphone..? above mention…is wat we use on a daily basis…who dun want to have a better life…? as standard of living is increasing…we also want to increase our dressing and how we appear in public…so yup before we can all go ard sayin ppl are materialistic look at yourself….i can say….im materialistic arent you…?
Comment by DKR May 3, 2010 @ 10:46 pm-DKR-
Well written. If Singaporean men has no luck with local women, they should reflect on themselves first.
I’m a Singaporean man, and even though my wife is a Malaysian, I fully agree with this statement. We just need to appreciate the modern Singaporean women, who are equally well educated as their male counterpart and also equally capable in taking up prominent role in society. Because of that, they tend to be more out spoken and ready to voice their opinion. Their expectation of men as life partner will be higher too.
So, if local men have no luck with local women, look within. Are you not up to the standard of local women?
While you are assessing if a woman is up to your expectation, the woman is also assessing you.
Comment by Kwek Siow Huat May 19, 2010 @ 3:51 pmI am a 40-yr old, average looking Ang Mo working here in Singapore and usually I just pass on by blogs like this one, but I just had to comment. I have been in Singapore for a while now and this seems to be a major moot point. I can only say – men of Singapore – rejoice! Not only are the women of your country generally beautiful, but they are hard working, intelligent, independent and understand the traditional roles men and women have. Now before the feminists among you get upset, let me explain what I mean.
I work with many local women who are easily more educated than me, dress really well, are confident, but also know what it is to be feminine. They have remained WOMEN, and have not tried to be a MAN (i.e. I can still open doors for them, bring them flowers, etc..without them thinking I am trying to demean them in any way). They know that although we are equal in all, I am still a man – and they are still women. I may be generalising here, but it is THAT elusive quality that I find in many local women.
Instead of seeing them as a challenge, appreciate them – respect the work they have put in to get as far as they have and their independence. Gents, you are so fortunate.
Joe
Comment by average Joe May 22, 2010 @ 8:58 pmEveryone in the world is materialistic, man and women. It doesn’t really matter which country or race you come from.
Singapore man crying about our local women being materialistic are just delusional, if they think a Viet , Thai or other third world country are not .
The only difference between Singaporean women versus other races is simply ‘ Money not Well Spent’
Singapore women wants ‘ Traditional Relationships but Modern Responsibilities’.
To be honest with you , Japanese women for example are twice or ten times more Materialistic than Singaporean women.
However having said that , they are money well spent, they deserve the Hermes and Jimmy Choos that are being showered onto them.
Singaporean women , or should I say 90% do not deserve it.
Wasgd
Regards
Thumbsup 😛
Comment by Hamsterbaby June 17, 2010 @ 8:47 pmTo Joe ,
You are white and most probably above average looking, most women in Asia have a huge Fetish for your kind and they would do as much as they can to impress you so the chances of you getting a reality check is pretty low.
Comment by Hamsterbaby June 17, 2010 @ 8:50 pmWell….Joe i do agree with u that i have seen lots of ladies who can present themselves, intelligent…hardworking…independence …anyway…hamster….im not tall, not handsome, not well build dont talk like ang moh..dont have a big fat wallet…or own dozen of cards…or a fleet of cars…and yes 100% MADE IN SINGAPORE…BUT i do have nice ladies around me…why…? Go figure it out yourselves…but i do have to agree with u..we are all materialistic…but wat i dun really agree is the fact that u mention ladies dun deserve it..hmm…mayb it is true…maybe not….but wat can u do to change..? provide us a solution can..? if not just live with it….
Comment by DKR June 18, 2010 @ 1:21 amI wasn’t whinning about it , and I dont think there is a need to change :O
There is no solutions for such situations.
Maybe because the nice ladies around you just want you to make up their numbers within the social circle.
On top of that , saying 90% of Singaporean women doesn’t ‘deserve’ it. I was actually targeting their social roles as the other half when they are in a relationship or when they are married.
You have to understand the basic fundementals of human beings.
Even the most materialistc women in the world can be nice to you.
Why would anyone outwardly show you their prejudice against you. That will only hurt their reputation.
If everything above what I mention is untrue, you probably have an 8 Inch Schloong and your ability to give multiple orgasm to a girl is incredible.
But then again , you are just a tool for relief.
Please learn to read my comments , they are not a bunch of whining and crying.
Am I living with it ? I am and very well too.
And for your nice ladies around you, let me tell you this honestly in the real world. Alot of women who do not fit into the social norm of being attractive are nice.
They have to be nice because thats the only attractive part they have.
Then again , I hope you don’t refute with the classic defense that dating reasonably good looking women or men is extremely shallow.
Welcome to the real world.
Regards
Comment by Hamsterbaby June 18, 2010 @ 8:40 pmI am an average man and joined a local dating agency. I paid 3000 dollars to join and they will provide dates for a year.
All the girls they sent me are fat, have poor table manners, arrogant and ask questions as if they are interviewing people for a job.
I cried silently after leaving the dates.
I have decided to quit at a loss because I am terrified at what girls they will sent me.
Some waited for me to pay. One 45 year old fat 80kg woman ate like a pig, and unshyly proclaimed she is a heavy eater.
Realising that I will pay for dinner, she took advantage and ate a ninety dollar beefsteak and drank a bottle of bacardi wine. Her looks and manner terrified me.I end up paying 200 bucks for a horrible date.
I advise all men not to join a dating agency. They have shortage of beautiful girls. Only ugly girls who cannot find a guy in the normal way join a dating agency. They will say these girls are busy but believe me, they cant find husband because of their character and their looks.
Most dating agencies exploited lonely peoples desperation and to fill the quota of girls, they sent you all kind of funny girls even after you specified that you want a certain type.
This shows that they lack the well mannered and pretty girls.
Further they arranged dating at expensive restaurants where you normally dont eat at. So they make money from your desperation. It is possoble that the restaurants pay the agencies some money to recommend clients.
The real fool is the men.I can sure that they have shortage of men and lots of ugly old mates with detestable characters in their database.
I worked in a company where many handsome angmos worked. Joining a dating agency is the last on their mind they told me. They say it is unnatural and full of pretensions.
The reason I join is because I hold a respectable position in a company and want to meet girls of comparable standard and does not want to flirt.
Man, by joining an agency you subject yourself to exploitation by materialminded girls who think you have a lot of money , uncaring agencies and money grabbing restaurants whose food are generally fucked up compared to hawker centres.
Forget about meeting nice-mannered girls. I bet 100 bucks u will sorely be disappointed wif the girl u meet.
Dont join agency. Just enjoy life and the girl of your dream who is sincere will come!
Comment by EligibleBachelor101 July 10, 2010 @ 4:44 pmwhat are you trying to prove?
Comment by bacholarENG July 7, 2010 @ 7:05 pmMerely sharing my opinions on the topic. Why, anything wrong with that?
Comment by rachelabsinthe July 10, 2010 @ 5:18 pmwhats wrong in your life?
Comment by bacholarENG July 7, 2010 @ 7:06 pmI happen to be very contented with my life, what is wrong with yours?
Comment by rachelabsinthe July 10, 2010 @ 5:18 pmthe reason someone is chatting with you or agreeing with you on this retarded topic is because they think a pretty and sexy babe is narrating the inequality.
if you are not, who cares what you think?
who?
and the reason why you are saying all this is because you are not pretty and you are not getting equality because you have nothing even that can get you attention in real life.
so just deal with it instead of crybabying here..
Comment by bacholarENG July 7, 2010 @ 7:23 pmReally? Well I totally disagree with you. Who says that one has to be pretty/ good looking to have his/ her opinions heard or to have people caring what they think?
Honestly I am very sad to hear shallow comments like that… put in such a bitter manner too.
Equality should be granted all across the board whether one is pretty. handsome, ugly, fat, young, old… and not based on whether one looks pleasing to the eye or otherwise.
Oh yea I may not be pretty but I happen to have a very contented life and am in a happy relationship.
And by the way, anything wrong with people sharing their opinions publicly? You have the right in calling me whatever you want and I have the right to continue speaking up. Crybaby you say? Then don’t come here and read my blog if it really annoys you so much then.
Comment by rachelabsinthe July 10, 2010 @ 5:27 pmHmm….my dear BacholarENG ah…let see…first do you know rachel…? i guess not…to make a comment like ‘because you are not pretty and you are not getting equality’ means you are someone that do not think…where’s ur brain…in some ulu ulu corner of ur ass..? hmm…i wonder wonder wonder….ok…let see ah….first of all…all females….regardless of young or old, fat or skinny…they are all pretty in their own ways…ha…and for someone like u that cant get a girl that have to go to a dating agency to seek help well…hmmm….well i feel for you…and the dating agency u been to…well mayb you felt cheated…becoz they recommended u ugly old ladies…but who are you looking for…FIONA XIE..? well have u ever look at the person other then their physical appearance..? i doubt…and it is only right for a guy to pay for a meal…if u arent comfortable go dutch and stop whining…and the lady telling u she is a big eater well i respect her…coz she is telling u her flaws…before u find out urself…have you thot of this…i doubt…well honesty is the best policy…so i guess u have been hiding ur flaws here and there…means U are wearing a MASK whenever u step out of the hse…well a bit sad that you cant be urself outside ur own little cave …i feel for u…and yes god made us all different…to make tis world colorful and interesting…and i got to thank god that u arent the person helping him to shape humans…well imagine….eee…i cant imagine that world sia…makes me freak out…everyone that looks and think the way u like …it will b OMG…boring…dull….so mayb it is just ur luck that u cant find a gf that u have to seek dating agency…opps…NO…it is becoz of ur attitude that u cant find a gf…and if u r holding a decent job…in a MNC…well…it shld not be difficult for u to find a gf…if u r…hmm…i wonder y u cant find one…hmm…..i guess u r the cry baby here so please dun b a pot calling the kettle black….and yes…i do know tons of wonderful gals…i know ladies in different shape and sizes…so be it…if they are big eater or small eater…they are humans…and i have known ladies that are smart…and crappy…and yes…i have oso known ladies that CONQUERED MT EVEREST…5 of them to be exact…and i know ladies with physical disability…but do i treat them differently…NO…becoz they are HUMANS so am i…well i know i cant change ur mentality…so wat am i goin to say is before u make a comment put urself in others shoes…think why they are thinkin this way…or making tis comment…and yes….take a good look at urself BEFORE U CONDEMN anyone…cheers peace out….god bless…
Comment by DKR July 10, 2010 @ 9:49 pmhttp://score-high.blogspot.com/
Comment by DKR July 12, 2010 @ 10:46 pmok, so basically, these mcp local guys (only those mcp ones, not all) are upset that local women are hanging out with foreign guys.
ok. so? even if it were true, so what? their point is…?
-_-“
Comment by roxanne August 4, 2010 @ 8:10 pmhey people, quite interesting topic and comments. someone mentioned that local men and women are equally well educated with equal responsibilities towards contributing to the relationship or marriage. my personal view is that there is no such thing as equal. for example, the man who has a masters fm local u may feel he is more qualified than his partner who has masters fm a less reputable foreign uni. another example, the one who works longer hours or makes more money or spends more time with the kids may feel his/her contribution is greater. in theory, equality sounds great but in reality, nobody can practise equality. one partner will always have higher qualifications. one partner will always talk louder at home. there is no equality in schools, workplace or at home. fm the second a baby is born, he/she faces inequality in everything starting fm class a,b or c bed. if the baby is a boy, he will get more or less love fm day one. i do not mind if anyone gives me constructive criticism. cheers.
Comment by ice September 12, 2010 @ 5:26 amfirstly i must say i enjoyed reading the topic and all the different comments.
Comment by ice September 12, 2010 @ 6:01 amsecondly, i hope nobody feels offended if i point out that statistically, one out of four marriages are between a local and a foreigner. therefore we can safely conclude that the majority of local men are so happy with local women that they have proposed marriage, and the local women are so satisfied with their qualities that they had willingly accepted. my personal view is that in any country there will be men who prefer foreign ladies and ladies who prefer foreign men. it is pointless to generalize which country’s ladies are more materialistic as it differs fm individual to individual depending on many variable factors. Let SPGs be SPGs, henpecked be henpecked, MCPs be MCPs, holier than thou writers be holier than thou, chiobu writers be chiobu, lians be lians, bengs be bengs, talented foreigners be talented, mba locals be bombarstic, jokers write jokes, non-professional writers like me write singlish, etc…..we just have to accept people r different in their history, mindset, perception , attitudes, actions, reactions, IQ, EQ, etc.
I think the problem is Real, its not the view of only one person .. No prejudice..
Comment by Sam Sung Ching October 3, 2010 @ 6:09 pmYou are way wrong.
There are some guys who are not “belittling” women.
I had seem a number of guys (who are my friend) who are on same shoe as mine, coming from “not normal families”, who value close friendship and in some case who are, at least, not “immediately ‘turn on’ to the attractive appeal of women”.
1) in our mind our ideal will be to have a egalitarian relationship with you as much as with ourselves.
2) so far women that we encounter are more or less demanding (i mean demanding, rather than materialistic, demanding domineering role over guy than settle for more or less “equal” role — bearing in mind we come from such a family background with a bad male devil aka dad). My personal perception, mine, at least, is that you all will either find a 100% or 90% Mr Right or to stay alone with your friend, because of this. Base on our experience, it will be extremely rare if you are not part of this group – i doubt you won’t be so demanding. In fact your essay tells a lot of your narrow-mindedness. There are guys who don’t belittle you, yet where put of because of you who want and must have a domineering role over guys.
3) you are right that not all foreigners are “obedient”, perhaps either it is one of the bad apple, or MORE RELEVANTLY the ENVIRONMENT in singapore is NOT GOOD. 3 of us married to a foreigner (ex-schoolmate or ex-colleague) and things turn sour after their wives became nasty. it all end in divorce with heavy consequences, though it could be more worse had they have children. The rest of us and I seen it and were put off by such incidents.
With such a must-always-dominate-over-male environment in singapore, which already been happening in Europe, even foreign women might “conditioned” to demand as many as the local women.
You too need a reflection too.
(Though not related, currently Zimbabwe native africans turn against the european Zimbabwean now, whose parents and grandparents discriminate against the africans, forcing them to flee and damaging this country economy. It is this analogy that both side need to take the blame, not just merely one side)
Again, you need to reflect on yourselves too.
Comment by YouAreWrong March 5, 2011 @ 10:50 pmHi there,
Thanks for sharing your opinions here.
If I have condemned all Singaporean men, then yes feel free to call me narrow minded. However I have claimed very clearly in my blogpost here that I am commenting on a specific group of local men who behave in such a way. To quote myself,
“First of all, I am fed up with the ‘feeling sorry for ourselves’ mentality that some Singaporean men harbour. When things go wrong for them, when they have no luck with local women for whatever reasons, they blame the women.”
I hope I have clarified myself here.
Comment by rachelabsinthe March 5, 2011 @ 11:08 pmAnother typical sg female behavior – my way or the highway attitude.
Local n foreigner guys from all walks of life have identical views r consider losers or met from the wrong crowds???
Amazing!!
Fyi, I never met any ah lian admitting she is one or any sluts admitting she is a slut.
So I think it’s very normal for u to think that ur sg female friends r not materialistic or demanding. Btw u r a sg female, like why she will be demanding to u , rite?
I think even if I say that most sg female squat and pee, u will disagree n accuse me for bring generalizing cause 1 of ur sg female stand n pee. Guess most guys had enough of the sg female behavior.
Yaya, I think I better post something positive (lies) about sg female if not I will get bashed for nothin.
Comment by Mark December 9, 2012 @ 5:15 pmSg female r independent, not demanding like a princess, faithful n non materialistic….
Hi Mark, I am sorry, when did I say that about all local and foreign guys?
Comment by rachelabsinthe December 9, 2012 @ 11:57 pmI came across your blog while during some research on the Singaporean legal system. Anyways, while I haven’t been to Singapore (or Asia for that matter) due to finl. issues I think I’m relatively well qualified to speak on this issue as I am majoring in comparative politics in college with a focus on East Asia (doing my honors project on Korea). I am also a Korean language minor. Therefore, I’ve known countless people that have lived in various Asian countries (including many from Singapore).
Anyways, while I agree with the part of your post that says its unfair for one partner to expect the other partner to be “obedient” I think you missed a few points that I will layout below:
1. Most men under 25 (Asian or otherwise) that I’ve met do NOT view obedience as a factor when choosing a partner. I’ve only encountered one (and that was more due to self-confidence issues I believe).
2. While Singaporean women are equally educated as Singaporean men, they are NOT treated equally. Nearly every person I’ve met that knows anything about Singapore (including women) feels that Singapore treats women WAY better than men. Women get let off easy both in school and judicially (no caning and easy prison sentences and boys are generally given harsher school punishments) and men always get the worse deal in divorce due to the Women’s Charter. Also, many Singaporean women abuse sexual harassment laws (i.e. outrage of modesty laws) due to their VERY broad nature and anti-male bias. I know women in Singapore didn’t create these laws but I don’t know any Singaporean women working to change these laws or Singaporean women that feel they are unfair. Most Chinese and Korean women (Japanese women too but to a lesser extent due to complex gender/cultural issues in Japan) I know think these laws are ridiculous or at best are unfair. Korean women or at least Korean women from Korean schools think the caning law is especially odd). Even most women I’ve talked to thinks there should be stronger laws preventing employers from hiring women and foreigners (especially) over NSmen. To be fair, most women I’ve talked to also say Singapore should strengthen laws preventing the firing of pregnant or soon to be pregnant women.
3. Just on a comparative basis, Singaporean women are the most materialistic in my opinion. All my guy friends agree that women from Singapore expect the most financially out of a guy (i.e. pay for EVERYTHING even if the girl makes her own income). I believe Singaporean women are like this because they know that even if they contribute nothing to the relationship, they will always be supported in marriage due to the Women’s Charter. In fact, I know many Korean, Chinese, and Taiwanese women (and to a lesser extent Japanese) that get nervous if a guy refuses to ever let his GF pay for something because the divorce laws in Taiwan and South Korea and to a lesser extent Japan take into consideration personal income during marriage. Therefore, if a poor woman marries a millionaire and contributes nothing to the marriage (either financially or via good homemaker), then she is likely to get nothing. However, in Singapore she would still get half of the assets due to the Women’s Charter. In Korea and Taiwan they take into consideration personal income AND contributions to the marriage (i.e. taking care of kids).
I agree with what your saying but until Singaporean women actually demand greater responsibilities along with their greater rights, most men have no choice but to treat them as weak and inferior because the Singaporean state constantly reminds men that women are weak and inferior.
Comment by Iris_Fan March 6, 2012 @ 6:36 amEdit: I left out Chinese divorce law as laws in China are essentially decided by judges and whoever has power and are somewhat decided differently based on region. However, China certainly does not have something like the Women’s Charter and most Chinese women I know are VERY ambitious. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for most women from Singapore. Also, I am not aware of what Hong Kong law is like (though I believe its similar to current UK divorce law). No idea what divorce is like in the rest of Asia.
Comment by Iris_Fan March 6, 2012 @ 6:47 amIf women and men deserve to be treated equally then why do women get the Women’s Charter, no caning and no NS?
Comment by RSS feed March 6, 2012 @ 8:32 amAlso, why don’t any Singaporean women think these laws are unfair? The reason why some Singaporean men think women need to be obedient is that they state constantly reminds them that women are weak and incapable.
Comment by RSS feed March 6, 2012 @ 8:34 amAlso, women get easier prison sentences, have an easier time getting jobs due to no NS and rarely get punished harshly in school. Also, most Singaporean women refuse to pay for anything and think they are way better than men. Other Asian women are hardworking and ambitious. Most Singaporean women are lazy and think men need to care for them. That’s probably why some Singaporean men want obedient women
Comment by RSS feed March 6, 2012 @ 8:41 amYes, women should be obedient to their husbands. It is sad when this is not accepted as normal in society. I don’t blame men for trying to find obedient wives.
Comment by mememe April 5, 2012 @ 2:09 pmWomen are not slaves. I feel sorry for your wife, partner or daughter, that is if you have any. But I hope not.
Comment by rachelabsinthe April 6, 2012 @ 11:45 amDo you know that in the top 0.01% of other countries especially ang moh countries, it is very conservative and that being saig, the wife is expected to support the husband which is exactly what obedient means. You ah liens read some english, drink some wine and then think wow the world is like that one huh…and all hell break lose lol
Comment by ang moh la August 14, 2016 @ 12:12 pmSorry to disappoint you, but I do not think that Caucasians are necessarily less conservative, and I don’t consume alcohol. I am also not keen to generalise, but prefer to make observations and reflect on them or share them for discussions. If you are not interested in contributing to any discussions and only have assumptive insults, then I do suggest that you head elsewhere to take care of that ego of yours.
Comment by rachelabsinthe August 14, 2016 @ 11:45 pmI think this blog has become more of an ego and pride war rather than addressing the real issue. Rachel what is your purpose in starting this thread? To provoke SG men or to prove your point at the expense of others getting unhappy and feeling provoked ? . I dont think Mememe’s quote “women shld be obdedient to her husband” has got relavance to Enslaving women. OBEDIENCE dont equate SLAVERY! Pls get ur facts straightened out, since u started this thread, u gotta be more responsible for it. Also i seriously doubt DKR’s credibility in this thread. This fool cant even type proper english to begin with. His language sounds more like typical ah lian language to me. Either that A wussy! Period.
Comment by Poh May 13, 2012 @ 10:32 amExpressing my opinion = ego pride war?
Like all other blog posts here, I have started this thread to share my opinions and to find out the opinions of others through discussion. Plain and simple.
If Singaporean men are provoked by my opinions, then it does say a lot about them doesn’t it?
For all I am aware, DKR is Singaporean and the Singlish he uses here is the same Singlish that we hear on the streets, on the mrt, train, schools, workplace etc. Ah Lian or Ah Beng, does it affect credibility? At least this person bothers to make a stand while others are just here to shut me up because I am a woman (trust me, I get emails from them).
By the way, I cringe when people use “obedience” on another human being because it signifies blind and unthinking following, which to me, leads to eventual slavery. This is my opinion.
Comment by rachelabsinthe May 13, 2012 @ 3:15 pmGood Morning, Good Afternoon and Good Night to all my FANS AROUND THE WORLD….yes YOUR FAV DKR is OFFICIALLY BACK TO THE KEYBOARD…
First of all…i got to apologize to all my fans…i have been too busy with work…thus I dont have the time to come in here…now…let see Mr. POH…hmmm…wait it sound like Teletubbies…Po…are u guys related…? Or are u related to the Kung Fu Panda…?Ok..enough of jokes…so lets start….YOU question my credibility and calling me a wussy…hmm ok…fine u can call me watever u want…but it did get my attention so good job so give yourself 1 clap…and enough..no need a round of applause ah…1 clap only…dont over do it…or else later ur fingers will be like HULK ah…cant type properly…waha…ok ok..my bad when i said enough of jokes but im still joking….haha…
Now to the main topic…so my dear POH…so why do u feel provoked..? Is it becoz u have been under a power of AN WOMAN…thus causing u to feel frustrated..? I know some people out there in the society thinks that a man feel left out becoz of National Service or rather wat i like to call National Slavery..spending a good 2 yrs of our precious youth in serving the Nation or rather some might say the FT…so u do feel left out…but come on..arent u feel HONORED to serve…? I do…thot…? Do u..? yes…i do feel the pinch in being left out in the working life especially i waited 20months yes i repeat 20 months after graduation for the stupid NS….but im proud to give my time even thot i dun like it…becoz every man got to go thru it…dun u agree..? So does it make u superior then others around..? Maybe….so all going to kneel down to u like in Avengers when u r Loki..? Come on…switch off ur monitor and look at ur reflection and tell urself…WRONG THINKING………..WAIT…..dont forget to switch on your monitor again ah….
Like you havent read in my previous posting…I RESPECT….lets look at the dictionary and i quote…
Respect
“deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment”
From dictionary…not from my own words…see NO SINGLISH there…i give my ladies the respect becoz of my wonderful up bringing by my wonderful PARENTS…and by the way…a shout out to mum…
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY…I LOVE YOU…and to all MOTHERS OUT THERE….HAPPY MOTHERS DAY..have a Great and Wonderful Day…
Ok…welcome back…sorry for going out of topic…i give them the respect they deserve or dun deserve in ur view…i always help them carry their heavy load…make sure they got home safely…hmm..i got to admit…doing all this is part of my male ego…u know the i must be on top feeling…u feel me…i think u pretty understand that…see…it is part of the male ego of doing things…there is 2 side of male ego…the good side and the bad side…repeat after me…GOOD AND BAD SIDE…it is i choose the GOOD SIDE…repeat after me again….GOOD SIDE..to manifest on…n not the BAD SIDE…u see..? or maybe you are blinded by the fact that people around u are dominated by ladies and to whom u feel doesnt deserve these privilege…thus not able to see beyond the fact..?
And let see… obedience doesnt equate to slavery..i agree with it..but i will not use the wife should be obedience to the husband or rather i will use both parties got to have mutual UNDERSTANDING and RESPECT each other decision as they are an unit who no longer view as individuals but as a couple..so whatever things you do..it will affect the other party..so the wife must obey the husband here…? So husband make all the decisions…and doesnt that reflect back to the wife if the decision is wrong..? Tell me you havent heard things like this before…? A husband made the wrong decision and the blame goes to both husband and wife…? If so…u r forgiven…cause…u must have been in SOME ULU ULU CAVE…
REMEMBER…whatever u do…AFFECT the other party..remember ok…life lesson here…yes the wife got to obey the husband if the decision he make is right…i will not have problem if my future wife make the right decision…and i will support her…but here is the problem…she will not make the decision…we will make the decision TOGETHER…becoz of the mutual respect we have for each other…btw…fyi…
o·bey
verb (used with object)
1.
to comply with or follow the commands, restrictions, wishes, or instructions of: to obey one’s parents.
2.
to comply with or follow (a command, restriction, wish, instruction, etc.).
3.
(of things) to respond conformably in action to: The car obeyed the slightest touch of the steering wheel.
4.
to submit or conform in action to (some guiding principle, impulse, one’s conscience, etc.).
There is no respect in obey…other then the person doing it obey the person giving the instruction..so slavery maybe quite a harsh word…but it makes sense dont it…and usually the person giving it is with authority or with power…thus the receiving party got to OBEY…
LOOK the issue here…originally is on Singaporean girls are less obedience…why…? Because they have their own mind sets…? They dont follow instructions..? All posting here are saying they dont deserve here and there…ALL of u have gone out of topic yet doesnt realised and venting ur frustration here becoz u cant get a Singaporean girl…so keep whining…becoz at the end of the day…u still will not get 1…a husband and wife…i dont see anyone should be giving instructions or any party is view lesser then the other…both hold equal weight one either the husband or wife is not higher then the other…well maybe in height but other then that nope…obey should not be use in a marriage…unless to GOD…
But i got to give u the respect…coz when u target my ang moh ah…i can see u try very hard very hard to try not to type singlish…and to type proper english but failed ah…see why there is a full stop after ur question mark…? And u mention…i quote…
” His language sounds more like typical ah lian language to me”
So Ah Lian is classified as a HE…? And sounds…did i said something…? WAH I KNOW…u can hear me type on my keyboard…wah power power…it should be…
“His language seems to me like a typical ah bang language.”
Hmmm…arent it better..? Come on u want to play english i can always entertain u…but first do ur research ok…i got no time to entertain ur potshots if they come like bits n pieces..1 shot give me everything…if im a fool im a happy fool and love by the Singaporean LADIES AROUND ME…whom i give respect to…n i earn my respect among them by showing the GOOD SIDE…repeat after me…GOOD SIDE of Male EGO….
Parting SHOT…We are in the 21st century not 0012 BC or 0012 AD but 2012 AD…2000yrs in between..so why ur thinking like 0012BC or 0012 AD…WAIT A MIN…have u left them there…? wait doesnt that make u..a 2000years old FREAK….PEACE OUT FREAK SHOW CAVEMAN…(hmm…y am i so evil…?)
Yours truly,
Comment by DKR May 13, 2012 @ 5:39 pm-DKR-
Hi everyone, let’s not do personal attacks here shall we?
Comment by rachelabsinthe May 13, 2012 @ 7:09 pmyou go plastic sugery first then talk la,
Comment by Dahlia October 25, 2012 @ 11:34 amcompared to korea SG women UGLY!!!!!!!!
So shallow.
Are Singaporean men any better? (Looking at things from your perspective)
Comment by rachelabsinthe October 25, 2012 @ 11:37 amAnd we are talking about personalities and behaviour here (the “obedience” issue).
I don’t think one gender has to be obedient to the other. So if you cannot be objective and stay within the topic, then don’t read my blog yea. 🙂
Comment by rachelabsinthe October 25, 2012 @ 11:39 amHi there,
Comment by James October 31, 2012 @ 1:39 pmi know you are just trying to share on this topic, yes Singaporean women can be harsh sometimes and arrogant, but same as the men as well. If we all just learn to get along hand to hand i think Singapore would be so much better to live in. Damn…. such times we are living in, haha we should be contented with what we have, countries such as Afghanistan are still suffering with the dillemia of War casualties and yet we are complaining here hahaha
I see a lack security here from the blog post, good luck
Comment by Alex Wong January 15, 2013 @ 2:19 amI’m sorry?
Comment by rachelabsinthe January 15, 2013 @ 2:21 amHmm…Alex…u r now like the index finger n the pinky…no link…
Comment by DKR January 15, 2013 @ 4:45 amAlex, women need these 8 points in a guy. They are:
1) Text them good morning / good night.
2) Make them laugh.
3) Take cute/silly pictures with them.
4) Hugs them from behind.
5) Likes to cuddle.
6) Respects them.
7) Doesn’t lie to them.
8) Don’t flirt with other girls.
If you can deliver these to them, they will be obedient and listen to you. Because they will definitely listen to you.
Comment by DJV May 13, 2013 @ 11:31 amHow stereotypical 🙂
Comment by rachelabsinthe May 13, 2013 @ 11:58 amI have beaten the first 7 points. Progressing @ 40% on the 8th. All for my woman. I ain’t N.A.T.O. but i’m NIKE. /wink….. damn i hate this habit.
Comment by DJV May 13, 2013 @ 12:06 pmultimately,its no money no honey.I’m not referring to a book.
Comment by punisher August 26, 2013 @ 5:10 pmPunisher,
If all the women you’ve met in your life are so materialistic, I really feel so sorry for your misfortune. To be honest, materialistic women (AND MEN TOO) are everywhere. In my work, I meet families and I see them sticking together through thick and thin. I also have friends whose relationships and marriages have gone through tremendous challenging times in terms of financial situation but most of them have survived til today.
Maybe you would like to reflect on other areas such as your choices and personality/ attitude towards women in general.
Money cannot buy happiness, neither can it buy love. And women are not that stupid to follow the dollar sign and nothing else. Stop generalising, because you are beginning to sound really silly and bitter.
Comment by rachelabsinthe August 26, 2013 @ 11:18 pmnow women equip with PMS and GPS., they are like bitches and they will find you….
Comment by alex March 24, 2013 @ 8:54 pmThis is quite lame and unoriginal, I saw this sexist quote being shared widely on FB.
Try coming up with something original won’t you?
Comment by rachelabsinthe March 25, 2013 @ 8:36 pmWomen demand Treatment equally, but when the WAR broke out in the world. WHO DIE the most ? women or man ?
sure i will give you equality. when the war start it, you go an fight and i stay home watching the news. I don’t mind.
Man and women will never be equal. Women should be a soft cushion for men. now, we have a difficult market for the man to build up a career. women should be a supporter or competitor ?
Comment by alex March 24, 2013 @ 9:15 pmBecause of mindsets like your own, many women were not required to fight in wars. Break it, because such a mentality of yours is not very fair to your own gender as well. Women and men have equal abilities to defend their lands on the battlefield.
Comment by rachelabsinthe March 25, 2013 @ 8:35 pmDear keyboard warriors,
Action speak louder than words. This country is based on meritocracy. You wana be recognised? Please act accordingly. Show these “narrow-minded” people that you are not all talk.
Regards,
Comment by DJV May 13, 2013 @ 11:18 amDejavu Man
Hi Dejavu Man, I don’t think that you are visiting the blog of a keyboard warrior. 😉
Thanks for the advise, will continue to do our work.
Comment by rachelabsinthe May 13, 2013 @ 11:31 amHi Rachel,
Everyone that blogs need a keyboard be it physical or touchscreen. Since you’re crusading in the name of fairness and equality, that makes you a warrior 😉
Regards,
Comment by DJV May 13, 2013 @ 11:37 amDejavu Man
A keyboard warrior to me, is one who blogs mostly or criticises behind the safety of her or his computer screen. I do both – offline and online work – so cannot really be considered as just a keyboard warrior :p
Comment by rachelabsinthe May 13, 2013 @ 12:00 pmTrue. I can’t disagree with you. Btw, i wana add 1 more point from my earlier post.
9) Don’t argue with her. You will never win.
Just saying 😀
Comment by DJV May 13, 2013 @ 12:15 pmLOL
Comment by rachelabsinthe May 13, 2013 @ 2:05 pm😀 It was fun exchanging pointers with you. Have a great day ahead.
Comment by DJV May 13, 2013 @ 3:42 pmsingapore girls are not useless. they are just smarter when a person is smart u will realise u do very little and always aim for objective so they are only getting the thing done.the rest they don’t care so is it good
Comment by lol June 2, 2013 @ 7:01 pmSg women only love Korean actors such as Kim Hyun Joong.
Comment by punisher August 22, 2013 @ 6:00 pmWhat kind of generalisation is this?
Comment by rachelabsinthe August 22, 2013 @ 10:41 pmgreat post Rach! well summed up. Singaporean women are the same as many of the educated women out there in the world, regardless of their race.
singaporean men are mostly traditional, expect women to fulfill typical gender roles, speak less, act submissive and the list goes on… to fit into the mould of this old 60s singaporean mindset. it’s the first world country (physically) but stuck in third world country mindset.
and when they are unable to get local women, they call them sluts, spgs, materialistic, spolit and high maintenance and go for women of neighbouring countries. there’s nothing wrong with that. but don’t blame singaporean women for their inability to act like a real man who leads by example, but instead they continue to whine and wait to be served.
Comment by florence September 6, 2013 @ 12:59 pmI’m sure Rachel would have something to say about your stereotypes of Singaporean men like she frequently does about stereotypes of Singaporean women.
Oh wait. Where are you Rachel? Having cake and eating it still?
Comment by lionelloon November 10, 2013 @ 4:59 pmI am a busy person and I have not logged on to my blog for quite some time. I also do not necessarily reply to comments at once or at all, especially when I am exhausted after a day’s work (day job, activism and regional work).
Anyway the reality is, both women and men hold certain stereotypical views of each other but many do not reflect on the root cause(s) and seek to see each other as individuals but with glasses tinted with stereotypical perceptions.
While to be honest, many of the local men I have been with DO fall into the stereotype for example, not creative, too pragmatic, expecting certain things to be automatically done for them by women (mother or gf) there are also others who are not like that.
Just like we cannot generalise local women or expect women to completely behave stereotypically (subservient, nurturing etc), we also cannot do the same to men.
Comment by rachelabsinthe November 11, 2013 @ 1:16 amEqual responsibilities for equal rights. Women in Singapore don’t want equal responsibilities but demand equal rights in Singapore.
Why do poll after poll in Singapore show that females in Singapore support compulsory NS for men and oppose compulsory NS for women overwhelmingly? Unlike the whining of SOME Singaporean males about females in Singapore, NS has a very real and tangible effect on ALL men in Singapore, which is supported by MOST women in Singapore (according to polls).
NS is only one item. There are many other institutionalised practices such as the Women Charter and unequal sentences for equal crimes which affect Singapore males.
So females in Singapore, if you want the prevailing mindset to change, why not do something for true gender equality? After all, one can’t have her cake and eat it can she?
What do you say Rachel? Or are women the perpetual victims?
Comment by lionelloon November 10, 2013 @ 4:54 pmHi Lionel,
First of all, I am against conscription for both women and men but that’s because I am a pacifist. However taking the reality into consideration, I am against the idea that NS is only compulsory for men. This sends a message to the society that women are physically and mentally weaker than men and hence should be “protected” and exempted from NS.
Secondly, women in general are brought up with fallacious stereotypes such as “you are physically weaker than your male counterparts” or “girls should be like this, boys should be like that”, which derives from patriarchal culture, being imposed upon them and hence they normally go on to believe that gender roles should exist. This is why many women are not in favour of seeing themselves participating in NS (i.e., rough physical activities) as it is something they have not been encouraged to do throughout their upbringing.
Now in order for perceptions to change, we do need society to change its messages that it is sending to the generations to come. Instead of exposing children to fallacious stereotypes based on gender, we need to see and appreciate them as individuals – through parenting, home environment, toys and media’s portrayal of women and men etc. It does take time for women to realise that they also contribute to gender inequality and to be honest, most women in this country lean into the patriarchal culture they have been brought up with instead of making the effort to find out more about what gender equity really means.
As for the Women’s Charter, it is seriously outdated. It was relevant at the time it was drafted and enacted but not now.
I do not think that any gender should play the victim card at all. I totally disagree that men should whine about women being unable to “fulfill their subservient roles” or that women should whine about being with a man who cannot support the family enough financially. With these sort of attitude, we are further encouraging the longevity of gender stereotypes which in fact result in the cycle of gender inequality.
And to be honest with you, my views are actually not welcome by both women and men because gender stereotypes have become so normalised and many people do not see a need to change what is already existing (such as gender-bias language/ terms and gender stereotypes). However this does not stop me from engaging myself in discussions with friends or strangers about the importance of ridding our society of gender stereotypes, sexism (subconscious and conscious) etc.
Hope this answers your question.
Cheers,
Comment by rachelabsinthe November 11, 2013 @ 1:06 amRachel
Personal experiences – everything in a word. Singaporean women are:
1) UGLY compared to their counterparts in other Asian countries, yet they think they’re the hottest of all Asian women.
Many are either too petite, short or fat. The taller, slim ones are the Decepticons; from behind they look desirable, but when they turn around, urrgghh.
2) Not spontaneous at all. “Come let’s go sing a birthday song to my friend over there.”
Foreign Woman: “Sure!”
Singaporean Woman: “Err.. I’m not good at singing.” or “Err.. I don’t know him you know.”
3) Lacking substance during conversation.
Singaporean Woman: I like Prada because it is fashionable and expensive and when I sling it, I will be the envy of everyone.
Foreign Woman: I like Prada because of its eccentricities and also, I’ve never found a perfect design in all their models. This keeps me curious and waiting for the next model.
Singaporean Woman: Huh?
4) 5 Cs and 5 Bs. Only Singaporean women can unabashedly come up with such shit. Who do you think you are, Angelina Jolie? Worse still, they revel in it like a motto, like they live for it.
5) Lacking initiative. They don’t know how to please their man.
Foreign Woman: Why do you love me so much? What’s so good about me? I’m so lucky to have you.
Singaporean Woman: So what if you’re handsome? You should be grateful that I’m even paying attention to you.
p.s Chinese, Vietnamese and Thai women do not just lie flat in bed and wait for you to do everything like the Singaporean woman does.
6) Unable to do basic housework. And I’m not saying they should be slaves in the house. I’m talking about something as simple as wiping shit off the table after eating, cleaning up after themselves or even folding their own clothes! That’s what happens when feminism rises in a society like Singapore and women become too educated to be involved in ‘lowly’ activities like cooking and cleaning. Between my wife and I, I clean the toilets and the kitchen while she cleans the living room and the patio.
So far all the women I’ve dated are foreign women, whereas with Singaporean women I am not bothered to go past a sexual relationship. Now I am finally happy and settled with someone pretty (WAY beyond the likes of what you will find in Singapore), who cares for me as much as I care for her, and who doesn’t give me shit to take. I respect her and do not give her any shit either. (Request and I will gladly send a photo)
Very pretty and does not give you shit. Now WHERE can you find that in Singaporean women? =)
Singaporean men should not be stupid and take shit from Singaporean women, like carry their handbags for them so they can walk empty handed and make you look like a fool.
And then you wonder why that boy is having so much trouble..
Comment by Defiler December 12, 2013 @ 5:30 pmtwo thumbs up
Comment by Andy September 9, 2014 @ 12:10 amAs a guy holding a prestigious local scholarship, and with a lot of people assuming that I have a girlfriend, I’d say the truth is complex. One thing I am certain is that a lot of SIngaporean women are willing to settle with average men, income- or looks- wise. In fact, smart or successful guys can be a huge turn off for a lof of young women, because we may seem as not fun or hip.
Comment by Worthless March 23, 2014 @ 4:59 amMoney doesn’t really matter to some women. I have been laughed at for saying I’m working hard to ensure I have money to support a familly. People tell me women can earn so guys don’t have to work so hard.
Local women have very hard to define expectations of who they want to marry, but money and status is definitely not a big criteria. If money and status is important, a woman will only see it that waywhen she is married. I find that many Singaporean couples only realize how short of money they are only after the wedding.
So to Singaporean guys, I say, don’t think local women are so narrow minded to only look at status and money. In fact, a lot of Singaporean women lack financial intelligence. So you can find someone if you try, and keep your expectations realistic.
In the first place, would a man of status and wealth even want a local woman as a wife ??
My observations are – Local women DO want men of status or wealth. And they do so desperately. I have been simply amazed by the lengths local women will go to just to reel in a rich guy.
And for a while, the rich guy may actually be hooked and drawn into relationships with the local women.
But after some time knowing them (and after the big head prevails over the smaller one), he eventually concludes that the qualities he is looking for in a wife are sadly not to be found in the local women.
Comment by Perspex July 6, 2014 @ 2:51 pmPersonally, I think it is perfectly rational for a man to prefer an obedient wife. Why? The answer is biology.
As a woman ages, her feminine hormones like estrogen will drop over time, whilst her testosterone levels increase relatively. She becomes less womanly, more aggressive & prone to anger (menopause). Chances are, if a woman is foul-tempered at age 20, she will be even more so at age 50.
The reverse is true for men: their testosterone levels drop & they become more amiable, even docile (andropause).
Therefore, a man may anticipate that his wife will be less obedient as time progresses. So what does he do? Easy. He compensates by choosing a more obedient wife.
Can we call him sexist or old-fashioned? Well, that is his personal choice. (Some may call him far-sighted.)
In the end, choosing a spouse is potentially the biggest decision one can make in life, and he/ she has every right to choose according to his/ her preference. If obedience is such a criteria, so be it.
(I understand I am speaking in broad generalities here. But I reckon the biological facts are quite well established.)
Comment by Oliver May 16, 2014 @ 3:45 pmA wife is a human being who should be respected as an individual. So a man can be aggressive a woman can’t. What double standards!
Comment by Be February 10, 2015 @ 6:28 pmYou sound like you want a dog more than wife. You can then train a dog to be obedient. Even a dog if treated badly will bite back!
I agree with what he said: Every person has the right to choose according to his/ her preference. If obedience is such a criteria, so be it. By the way, only uneducated hooligans will use the word “dog” on another fellow human being.
Comment by WKGoh February 15, 2015 @ 6:05 pmwell.. better than marrying a bitch
Comment by Zenner February 15, 2015 @ 9:03 pmi have many friends marry foreign ladies & I myself find it so hard to find a nice gal … reasons? local girls think too highly of themselves. They don’t appreciate the 2 years we sacrifice doing NS… when i go on dates most of them don’t bother to know about who i am instead focusing on outward appearances & successes. when i go aboard i find that most ladies are easier to make friends and musch easier to have an intelligent conversations. If u try to make friends with any ladies in SG out of the blue or a stranger they will take it like u are a pervert???!???
Comment by Andy September 9, 2014 @ 12:03 amWow wow…Andy…wait are you the same andy whose dad won a fortune on world cup?? haha,..anyway andy i would just like to say…u r super unlucky in meeting new “hot” gals if you like it that way..just becoz u mayb look bad, mayb…but let me share with u this…im not handsome…or standing at 1.7m or 1.8m above sea level..but i get to know tonnes of nice ladies around…and sure some of them may not be made in singapore but 1 thing for sure they are singaporeans…born and breed in singapore…so why r u havin difficulties…? is it the way u approach or is it the way u talk or is it the way u look at them? there are many factors to look into b4 u r too quick to judge and too quick to blame…piece of advise for u..go out more..go for social events more often..i believe u will meet nice gals…oh…wait try online dating…seems that there are many nice gals around…sure they may not be angelina jolie but they are nice gals…and since you arent bother about looks right…so give it a shot….
-DKR-
Comment by DKR September 30, 2014 @ 8:52 amAll else being equal, choose the foreign bride.
Why marry a sinkie woman? And be hen-pecked and have her walk over you for the rest of your life?
A sinkie woman will always treat you like you owe her a million bucks. Don’t believe? Ask any poor soul married to one.
Brothers, fellow sinkie men, lend me your ears!
Choose dignity, choose happiness, choose foreign bride!!
Comment by Alfa Romeo January 17, 2015 @ 9:09 pmIt sounds like they want a China born or Vietnamese maid for their son and not a wife. If he marries one then they get cleaner, nanny, cook all thrown in for free.
Comment by Be February 10, 2015 @ 6:25 pmOne should not blame or demean others to cover up their own failure.
Comment by Ralph February 13, 2015 @ 1:56 pmSo why don’t Singaporean women also focus on finding foreign husbands? If the woman is going to be the main earner then she can work on finding a ‘house husband’ as it were.
To be fair, what is going on in Singapore, the cultural change in the sexes, is typically what happens when the gender roles become more and more equal to reflect the current socio-economic climate. The downside is traditional views do not alter as quickly. The absolute biggest problem is this: Women’s roles in society have changed, however, Men’s roles in society have not. You cannot change one gender without changing the other, to attempt to do so breeds nothing but conflict. They are two sides of the same coin. So, what kind of man is the new woman looking for? If it someone who earns more and is a primary provider and is the traditional role of a husband you seek, you won’t find him because, well, you are not a traditional woman and won’t be a traditional wife. Don’t be mad at men looking for a traditional wife elsewhere, instead, you need to adapt yourself to be fill that role (which most won’t do and I am not judging them for not doing so) or you need to change what you are looking for in a man. Maybe don’t focus on the physical and material, instead go for someone who is trustworthy, courteous, and caring while still being masculine. This, in effect, is placing you in the role of traditional ‘husband’ looking for the traditional ‘wife’ only the genders are swapped.
Ask yourself, Singaporean women, ‘What makes a man seek out a foreign woman for marriage?’ Maybe you should seek out a spouse for similar reasons. The men don’t care about the socio-economic status of the wife, they don’t mind that they make more than them, and value the agreeable nature of a good home maker. Try using that as a standard when searching for your own spouse.
Comment by Flamespeak July 25, 2015 @ 3:45 pm